The High-Schooler King, OOO!
by Mega Rider ZX
Summary: Takehiko Sato, a teenager with little-to-no selfish desires. In a single day however, everything he knows changes when he becomes Kamen Rider OOO and finds out that alien lifeforms exist. Now it's up to him to try and maintain something close to a normal life. Updated at noon on Sundays, EST. Happy Birthday, OOO!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kamen Rider or To Love-Ru.**

 _Happy Birthday to you._

 _Happy Birthday to you._

 _Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!_

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

 _Happy Birthday dear…_

 _..._

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

…

 **The High School King  
Chapter One  
Happy Birthday!**

 **(First Person)**

Do you ever get that weird feeling? Like you really, _really_ should not have gotten out of bed this morning?

It's probably a feeling like what I'm feeling right now, as I glare at the mantis-like monster across from me. I'm wearing some kind of multi-colored armor that you'd see in a tokusatsu show, only this isn't some set and I'm not going to be paid for this later.

Probably.

No, this is real life. This is a _real_ life-or-death situation here.

You're probably wondering how I got myself in this situation in the first place, aren't you? Well, that takes a bit of explaining.

No, not just a bit, let me correct myself. It takes a _lot_ of explaining.

…

My name is Sato Takehiko, or Takehiko Sato for you English speakers, but either name works. My morning started out typically enough, wake up, head to school, and meet up with the guys…

Right, I share a house with two other people- Rito and Mikan Yuuki. Rito is the older brother, and Mikan is his younger sister. I go to the same school as Rito, and I've known him since I was about six or so. I guess you could say we're childhood friends. My parents travel a lot, so I rarely see them if at all, and Rito's parents are… well, busy all the time. It was decided between our parents that we would live in a house together so we could go to the same school.

So today I found Rito doing what he usually does: Stalking- er, I mean watching, his crush from afar, Haruna Sairenji.

I've only talked to the girl once in passing, but she seems like a nice person. Far too shy, though. I don't ship it.

I smirked as Saruyama and I snuck up on Rito as he watched her from around a corner. Saruyama is essentially our third musketeer, so I've known him for a while too. One thing to know about our group is that while Rito is extremely shy about girls and Saruyama is practically the opposite, I stand sort of in the middle of that spectrum. I consider myself the "normal" one.

"So, are you gonna do it, or am I?" I asked him. He turned to me with a smirk rivaling my own.

"I've got this, leave it to me." He whispered back, rolling up his right sleeve. He cupped his hand to his mouth and yelled "Yo, Rito! Are you _stalking_ her again in the middle of the day?!"

3… 2… 1…

"WHO'S THE STALKER, BASTARD-?!" There it was, Rito exploded violently. He's got a bit of a temper, but I think that's normal for guys our age.

"You mean you weren't just doing that?" I asked, full deadpan. Rito glared at me, "Come on, we all know you were watching her just now. Like usual, right?"

"Shut up. I wasn't just _watching_ her today. I'm waiting for a good time."

 _PFFT._

"Ohkay, I know that wasn't _supposed_ to sound sexual but…" Rito gave me a sharp glare, so I relented "Fine, fine. So, you're going to try it again?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've decided." He said looking resolved, "I'm going to confess my love to her today."

Saruyama rolled his eyes, " _Right_. Like all the other times you tried?" He muttered off-handedly.

Here's the thing. Every time Rito tries to confess to Sairenji, something happens to make him fail. It's happened every time before now, and it'll probably happen again. It's almost like they're not meant to be together, by royal decree of the god-king of the universe.

But here's where it's different this time. Sairenji and Rito are in the same class this year. It's the first time since the eighth grade they've been in the same class. This increases his chances of telling her by like… I dunno, a million or something?

"So, when do you plan on telling her?" I asked.

Rito blinked, "I… actually haven't considered that." He admitted sheepishly, "But I guess this afternoon."

 **Ding-Dong, Dong-Ding-Ding**

The school bells sounded, signifying that it was time to get to class. I sighed.

"Right, let's get to class. Good luck on telling Sairenji, Rito." I said as I turned and started my walk to class.

…

Classes today were the norm for the first few days of school. Since it was the start of the school year, all the teachers were focused on reiterating the school rules, going over the syllabus, those sorts of things.

Really, all that did was give Rito time to think about how he was going to confess to Sairenji, because he stood resolutely at the gate when it came time to leave school.

I gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder as a passed, "Give it your best. I'll wait for you around the corner."

He didn't even nod. He was that focused.

I peeked around the corner to watch, as Rito froze when Sairenji walked in his direction. I shook my head, "He's not going to be able to do it." I murmured. Just as I expected, Rito dove into the nearby bushes instead of spilling his heart out to Sairenji.

The girl looked around, confused, "Huh? Is it just me, or did someone call my name?"

She shrugged, and continued walking, right out the gate and past me. Shortly after, Rito walked out the gate.

It doesn't take a second look to tell how dejected he's feeling.

"So you couldn't do it." I murmured, putting a hand on his shoulder as we walked.

"I couldn't do it…" Rito mumbled, before pulling at his own hair. I take a step back as he starts to yell, " _Why couldn't I do it?!"_

I laughed, "Hey, Rito, no point in looking so mopey. You'll have plenty of opportunities to tell her how you feel." I told him.

He seemed to brighten up at that, "Yeah! You're right. Just because I didn't tell her now, doesn't mean I can't tell her later."

"Yeah, man! That's the spirit. And remember, you have the support of me and Saruyama to- "

 _ **Clink**_

Whatever I was saying at the time was interrupted when a coin fell in front of us. I bent down to pick it up, and looked at it. The coin had a strange design, mostly red with a golden edge. There was a picture of what I guessed was a bird on the face of the coin, and on the other side there was a single horizontal line.

"Huh. Looks like it's our lucky day, huh Rito?" I grinned and looked at him. He apparently didn't share my sentiment, judging by the frown.

"Speak for yourself. Besides, that coin is bigger than any I've seen. I don't think anyone will accept that." He said, immediately shooting me down.

I chuckled briefly, "We'll see about that." I responded, making my way over to a vending machine. Just before I put the coin through the slot, a voice commanded me to stop.

" _ **STOP!**_ "

"Huh?" I looked around. There was no one that could have said that, and it certainly wasn't Rito's voice. I don't think that he could bring his voice to do that. I shrugged, passing it off as my imagination, and went to put the coin through the slot. My fingers slipped, and the coin fell to the ground, and rolled under the vending machine.

Rito and I stared at the bottom of the machine for a few seconds before I spoke up.

"Such misfortune." I muttered. I walked over and grabbed the machine.

"What are you doing?" Rito asked as I lifted the vending machine up so it sat on its back legs.

"Quick, grab the coin. I can only hold this for so long." I said, my arms already shaking from holding it.

"Oh… Okay!" He said, crouching down. He looked under the machine for about five seconds before backing away screaming.

"AAAAHHH!"

"O-Oi! What's wrong?!" I asked, dropping the machine with a dull _**thud.**_ For a second, I thought I heard someone yelp in pain.

Rito gulped, and pointed at the machine, "T-There's something under there!"

"Huh?" I asked. Rito suddenly became very focused on something over my left shoulder, "Rito… What's behind me?"

He broke out in a nervous sweat, "Y-You might want to see for yourself."

I slowly turned around, only to be face-to…

Hand. FLOATING HAND. It chuckled at me briefly, waving the red coin around.

" _Heheh… I'll be taking it back now; my Core Medal._ " It said. I didn't even register what it had said before I both screamed and threw my leg up, kicking the hand and knocking the coin into the air. All of it, accidental.

The coin fell into my hand. I looked dumbly at Rito.

"A-A floating hand… What do we do?" He asked.

" _Hey!_ " The hand shouted, climbing back from behind the vending machine, " _That hurt, you..._ "

I gulped, and gave Rito the most courageous look I could muster at the moment, "Well, Rito. There's only one thing we can do in this situation. It's a secret art I've developed, but it depends entirely on yourself to execute." I said.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Rito commented.

I grabbed his arm and took off, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

" _Hey, wait! I said wait!_ " The hand yelled after us, before flying in pursuit.

"Where are we going?!" Rito asked, pulling his arm away from me. I thought for a moment, before looking ahead.

"There's a courtyard ahead. We'll lose it there." I told him.

But seriously, what's with that hand?!

As if on cue, the hand flew down in front of me, causing me and Rito to stop. Oh right, it can _fly._

"Whoa!"

" _Give back that medal. It's my body._ " It announced. I stared at it, unable to speak.

"Your body…?" Rito asked.

The hand flew up to me and grabbed the collar of my shirt, pulling me off the ground.

"W-Whoa! For a single hand, you're pretty strong." I commented, forcing a smile.

" _Enough talking. Hand over the medal, now! I'll let you live until then_." The hand said.

"Y-You're going to kill me?! H-Hold on for a second, I found this coin on the street, and…" I explained, holding up my hands in a placating manner.

" _Yes. You "found" it because I dropped it._ " The hand said, gesturing for me to give the coin back.

"O-Oh, did you? What a coincidence, for you to be there while Rito and I…" I muttered.

Rito noticed something, "Hey, guys." He said, but we ignored him.

" _Just give it back._ " The hand growled.

"Uh, hey guys!" Rito shouted, drawing our attention.

Both the hand and I looked at him, "What do you want?" We asked at the same time. Man, he looks freaked out.

"There's, uh, _something_ coming!" He said, pointing off to the side.

" _That Core Medal… Hand it over._ " A Monster said. It was huge, and a shade of light green. If I were to compare it to an insect, I'd say it was a mantis. It had no eyes, and in it had two large blades inside its hands. It also had an extra set of arms closer to the chest.

"Oh man, _another_ one?!" I exclaimed. The monster brought its scythe-like arms together and created four blades of energy, "Oh shit…" I muttered as it threw the waves of energy at me.

" _!_ "

The hand rushed forward and _blocked_ the energy attacks, destroying them with swipes of his… hand.

Huh. The hand that threatened to kill me just now saved my life. I don't know whether to be thankful or terrified. I'll settle for the former.

The monster grunted, surprised.

" _You're… Ankh?!_ " It exclaimed.

" _Don't interfere. That's my Core Medal._ " Ankh said, gesturing angrily.

Rito walked a little closer to me, "What's going on?" He asked.

I gave him a serious look, "I don't know… This looks like something you'd see in a Sentai show." I muttered.

" _Hand it over…_ " The monster said, before charging toward Ankh, swiping madly. Ankh dodged the first swipe, but got hit by the rest.

" _Gah!_ " The hand yelled as he was sent rolling across the pavement.

The mantis monster picked him up, and if it could glare, it would have, " _Stay out of my way!_ " It yelled as it threw him into a nearby board.

"What do we do?" Rito muttered.

"Well, we have to do _something._ " I said, "This fight is a little _too_ one-sided. Come on. Let's help Ankh."

Ignoring Rito when he asked me if I were crazy, I ran toward the mantis monster, grabbing its arms before it could do anything else. It easily threw me off, and I landed on a table that couldn't support my weight, causing it to crumble as I hit it.

"Gh!" I grunted. I watched as the monster closed in on me, bringing its scythe-like hands together and creating a _**shink**_ noise as it did. Just as it was about to reach me, Rito jumped on it.

"Get away from him!" He yelled, not letting go of it as it struggled.

"H-Hey Rito, be careful!" I shouted at him, just as the monster struggled out of his grasp. The monster sent a quick kick to Rito's stomach, sending him rolling away. The monster brought its arms together, and sent an energy wave at Rito.

"RITO!"

It hit. Rito's right hand stopped being a part of his body, hell, it stopped being a thing in general. What was left dropped to the ground, just a mesh of tissue and bone. Rito clutched what was only a stump and fell to his knees, screaming.

"No... NO, RITO!" I yelled, as the monster slowly walked toward him, "STOP!" I yelled, standing up and running at it. As if on instinct, the monster turned and grabbed me. I was thrown to the side like a ragdoll.

"Ow…" I mumbled as I nursed my head. The monster quickly closed in on me, and grabbed me by the shirt.

" _He's a total idiot, but… I can use him. It's not like I have any other choice._ " Ankh said, taking flight. The monster noticed him flying toward us, and jumped away, with me still in its clutches. My body hit a pole, and I was dropped.

Before I hit the ground, Ankh caught me.

" _You. What's your name?_ " He asked.

I looked up at the floating hand, "It's… It's Sato Takehiko. But call me Sato." I said.

" _Sato. You've impressed me. I'll show you how to survive this._ " He continued, before a pink glow emitted from him. A shape came from the bottom of his wrist, and solidified into a stone object.

"Hey, can you save Rito, too?" I asked.

" _Worry about that later. For now, we must deal with_ him." Ankh said, pushing the object to my waist. The object glowed for a second, before turning into a belt that wrapped around my waist.

"W-Whoa!" I yelped, startled by the sudden change.

Ankh turned to look up at the Mantis Monster, " _The Core Medals aren't the only things I took, as you can see._ " He said, and turned to me, " _Sato. The only way out of this is to defeat him._ "

"I know, but how?"

" _Slide these three core medals in here._ " The hand said, holding two more of those medals; a yellow one and a green one. He then pointed to my belt, " _It'll give you the power to do it._ " He held the medals up to me.

I took them, and examined them for a brief second before looking back at Rito. He was bleeding a lot, but had stopped screaming and looked barely conscious. The Mantis Monster was making its way toward us.

" _Listen to me, boy. Don't do it, don't let Ankh tempt you. There'll be consequences if you use that thing._ " It growled.

Ankh bumped my chest, getting my attention, " _Hey! What's a little risk? You want to save your friend, don't you? Then you need to save yourself, first._ " He said.

" _Do it, Sato! Transform!_ "

" _Don't!_ "

I looked at the monster, then back at Ankh. I allowed myself to smirk, "I don't think there's any other way for me to get out of this easily, so… Looks like we're in the same hole." I said, flicking the red coin in the air. I caught it, and slid the red and green medals in, then the yellow. I pushed the belt buckle so it was diagonal, which caused a pulsing sound to emit from the belt. Ankh grabbed a small, circular device from the side of the belt.

" _Now use this._ " He said, letting me grab it. The belt made a clinking sound as I brought the device across the belt buckle.

"Henshin!"

 _ **TAKA, TORA, BATTA! Ta-To-Ba! Tatoba, Ta-To-Ba!**_

The belt sang as several colored circles flew around me, eventually stopping at a **Red, Yellow,** and **Green** combination. They flew into me, and the unthinkable happened.

Multi-colored armor formed around me, themed after those colors.

I gave myself a once-over, "Cool…" I breathed, "But hey Ankh, what was that song just now? Hawk, Tiger, Grasshopper? What is this armor?"

" _That idiot!_ " The monster yelled.

" _Yes, just as I'd hoped._ " Ankh muttered offhandedly, before flying over to me, " _Don't worry about the song. This is Os. You'll understand how powerful it is once you fight._ "

Before I could say anything in response, the monster jumped at me, brandishing its arms. I blocked, and kicked it away. The monster rolled on the ground as… coins? Spilled from it.

…

And that's how I got into this situation. The mantis monster glared back at me, before charging at me again. I blocked it with the blades on my wrist, and struggled against the monster's blades.

I pushed some power into my arms, I don't know how, and the blades on my wrists flipped into claws.

 _Tiger._ I understand now. I used the claws to slash across the monster's chest, more of those silver coins spilling out, "HA!"

"So, if I push power into my arms and claws come out, then if I push power into my legs…" I thought aloud. If this works, it's gonna be so cool…

The armor on my legs glowed, and I crouched. In a burst of power, I jumped toward the monster, who was recovering from my slash. I kicked it several times, landed, and sent a powerful punch into its chest, "Ha!"

I laughed as the monster landed on its back, "This is so cool! Hahahaha!"

" _You..._ " The monster growled, as it glared up at me. It jumped to its feet, and charged at me again, brandishing its scythes.

Uh-oh.

I hadn't expected it to recover that fast, and took the full force of the slashes, "Gh!" I grunted, and the yellow parts of my armor emitted a static-y sound as it flickered.

"Huh…?" I muttered.

" _Hey!"_ Ankh yelled, getting my attention, " _Swap out the middle one with this!_ " He said, as he flipped a lime green coin to me. I caught it, and kicked the monster away before it could attack me.

Swap it out…?

I took the yellow coin out, stored it, and put the lime green one in. I brought the disc across the belt.

 _ **TAKA, KAMAKI, BATTA**_

Once again, the circles formed around me, and changed my armor. My arms changed into a lime-green color, with scythe-like blades on my wrists.

" _Alright!_ " Ankh exclaimed, giving me a thumbs-up.

The monster got its self back into a fighting position, " _Ankh! Hand over the medals, now!_ " It yelled as it ran at me. I dodged its blades and hit it with my own, sending it rolling across the ground.

I charged power into my arms, and leapt toward it, my scythes glowing. I hit the monster, and it was sent flying.

 _ **Ka-BOOM**_

It exploded, "Why did it explode?" I asked aloud, as the coins fell to the ground. I feel like I'm forgetting something- Oh.

"RITO!" I yelled, running over to my friend. He was quiet; there was a pool of blood under him. He's just barely conscious.

"Sa…to?" He whispered, before coughing.

"H-Hey Rito, hang in there! I'll call an ambulance." I said, reaching for my phone, only to realize I was still in my armor.

" _Do you want to save your friend?_ " Ankh asked, floating around Rito. He looked at me, or whatever counts as looking at me considering he was a floating hand.

"What? Of course I do!" I exclaimed. What kind of friend- No, what kind of _brother_ would I be if I _didn't_?

" _Heheh…"_ Ankh chuckled as he floated toward Rito, " _Very well. I can save him, but it requires me to become his right hand. Normally, I wouldn't consider this, but this would be_ beneficial _to the both of us._ "

I thought of what he said for a few moments, before nodding, "If it will save him, then do it."

Ankh made a fist, and moved to where Rito's arm would be. He pulled Rito up into a standing position, and my friend stopped bleeding. The wound had sealed!

His entire body flashed purple, and his hair became a dull blonde, changing into a completely different style than what I was used to seeing on Rito.

I stared for a moment, before trying to speak, "Ankh?" I tried.

He gave me a smirk, "The boy was unconscious, so I have to take control of his body while it heals." He spoke through Rito's mouth. One thought crossed my mind, and I immediately grimaced.

 _This is going to be a god-damn nightmare to explain to Mikan._

…

 _Happy Birthday to you._

 _Happy Birthday to you._

 _Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!_

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

 _Happy Birthday dear…_

 _OOO_

 _Happy Birthday to you!_

 **A/N:**

Well hello everyone!

Welcome to a project I've wanted to do for a while now. I'm rewatching Kamen Rider OOO and re-reading To Love-Ru just to do this. I'm also looking for ways to deviate from canon in both series as I go, so this should be fun! I have a lot of ideas, some of which you, the readers, have already seen in this chapter!

Anyway, let's get onto the details.

 _ **Sato Takehiko:**_ _I originally wanted the main character to be Rito, but he just… didn't fit with me, him being Os. So, I decided to create Sato. In a way, he's like another sibling to the Yuuki twins, having known them from a young age._ _He's also the Kamen Rider OOO of this universe, but not the only Kamen Rider. Other Riders, like W or Fourze, may make appearances, or may be mentioned later._

 _My decision to make this first-person might make this a little difficult to write in some cases, but I'll do my best!_

 _Though his name is Takehiko, he has everyone call him by his surname since it's easier to say._

 _ **Ankh possessing Rito:**_ _I thought this would be a good twist, one that involves both series. So yeah, Ankh is going to be acting as Rito's right arm. Not much else to say here, other than how Rito's luck is going to affect Ankh. Oh, and Mikan. Dear God, Mikan._

And that's all I have to say. I might change the viewpoint if it becomes annoying to write, because I can't write scenes that Sato isn't directly involved in.

Please review! It's good for my motivation to continue writing this story. Like it? Hate it? Have a suggestion? I'll read your post and reply.

Have a great day, children! This is Zappy Caboose, signing off!

(This chapter has passed under the eyes of my wonderful unofficial beta-reader, XDNOVA13. That said, if you happen to notice any mistakes, please let me know. Thank you for reading!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my OC!  
A/N: There isn't much fighting this chapter, as it's overall more dialogue-heavy. If Ankh seems OOC this chapter, it's not on purpose. It's completely unintentional. Also, I may change the rating from T to M later, since I realized I might write graphic scenes later, possibly ones more graphic than Rito getting his hand cut off.**

 **To the one Guest review: Firstly, I'd suggest either signing up or logging in to Fanfiction, because I may not notice your review, or I may not take what you say as seriously if you decide to criticize me. This goes double for any flamers. If you flame me and you're a guest, I'll probably just delete the review. Secondly, I'd prefer not to spoil pairings for the story. You'll just have to wait and see.**

…

 **These three things happened last time, on** _ **The High-Schooler King!**_

 **1) Yuuki Rito was unable to confess to his crush, Sairenji Haruna.**

 **2) Sato Takehiko became OOO, and defeated the Kamakiri Yummy.**

 **3) Ankh possessed Yuuki Rito, replacing his lost right arm.**

 **And now, the next chapter of** _ **The High-Schooler King!**_

 **Chapter Two  
The Girl from Space**

I stared at Rito, or rather Ankh, in shock. Partially because he had just replaced the missing hand of my best friend, and partially because I have no idea how his little sister is going to take this. It could break her.

"Rito's… going to be okay, right?" I asked, looking at Ankh through my helmet.

He smirked, "First, undo the transformation. You know how to do it?"

I frowned, "Like this…?" I muttered as I moved the seal back into place. The effect was immediate, as the armor phased out of existence. Ankh moved and snatched the belt away from me.

"In answer to your question, I don't know. Only time will tell… Urgh..." He grunted, falling to his knees.

"O-Oi! Are you okay?" I asked, holding him by his shoulders.

He shrugged me off, "This body's lost a lot of blood. It's nothing I can't fix, but…" He grabbed some of the coins off the ground, "These should speed up the process." He said, as he absorbed them. He stood up, apparently all better. That's when it happened. We noticed it at the same time.

"Hey, what's that…?" I asked, looking at a small, metallic bird that was dragging away one of the coins.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Ankh shouted, walking toward it. Several of those birds came out of nowhere, grabbing those medals, "Hey! Those are mine!"

He snatched one away from a bird, and turned to me with a glare, "What were those things?" He demanded.

I frowned, "You think I know? I don't really keep up with technology like that."

Ankh frowned back, "This is strange…" He muttered, "Something's changed since we were sealed away." He said as he examined the coin. He absorbed it into his arm.

"Changed? Sealed away? Care to explain everything?" I asked, deadpan. He gave me an arrogant glare, before smirking and walking away, gesturing for me to follow him.

Needless to say, I followed the hand possessing my friend's body.

…

I followed Ankh to a Popsicle stand, where he took three and left without paying.

I ran up to the stand, "Sorry about him. He's been weird lately, how much is it?"

The old man running the stand squinted at me through round glasses, "About three-hundred yen." He said. I quickly gave him the money and ran after Ankh.

"Hey! Wait up! You could at least answer my questions. What exactly are you?" I yelled in annoyance.

Ankh turned to me as I walked beside him, "Eight-hundred years ago, we were created using the core medals." He said, "We are called Greeed, and for many ages we were sealed away…"

Whoa, he's ancient, "Core medals…? Oh, you mean those things I used to transform with? Are you made of medals too, like that guy I just beat?"

"The Yummy?" Ankh said, "There are two types of medals." He held up the red _Taka_ medal with his free hand, then a silver unnamed medal, "Core Medals, and Cell Medals. Think about this popsicle, what you eat are the cells, and the stick is comprised of the cores."

I nodded, looking at the popsicle, "So, the Cell medals are what hold you together, while the Core medals… are _you._ " I said.

"That's correct. You're smarter than you look." Ankh said, taking another bite, "And the Yummy you just beat? He's the cells without the core. The ice without the stick." He explained.

So… He's like a homunculus?

"So as just a hand you must be missing a lot of core medals, huh?" I realized.

Ankh grimaced, "Yeah, and I want them back." He said, clenching _his_ hand.

"I'll help you." I said, looking at him straight in the eyes.

He blinked back, "Huh?"

"I'll help you reclaim your lost medals. Think of it as repaying you for saving me and Rito." I reiterated, looking away slightly. That wasn't the whole reason, of course. I did genuinely want to help him.

Ankh smirked, "Of course you will."

There was a moment of silence as I checked my watch, "Whoa! It's that late already?!"

I should've realized, considering how dark it was getting. She's probably getting sick worrying over us.

"Something wrong?" Ankh asked, popping the popsicle out of his mouth.

"Yeah, we need to get home! Mikan is gonna be worried sick!" I yelled, "Come on! You can explain whatever you think is necessary for me to know on the way."

Now how do I explain to Mikan about Ankh?

…

I stood facing the door of my home, Ankh behind me as I wondered how Mikan would take this. Maybe it would be best to just not tell her. Maybe she wouldn't suspect anything. Or perhaps, _perhaps,_ she'll be too angry over us getting home this late to notice Ankh.

No, that girl's too smart for that. She'd _sense_ something's up, after all it's not like Rito's the type to go somewhere and dye his hair.

"Are we going in or what?" Ankh asked, starting to get impatient.

"Yeah, it's just… _you_ try explaining to a young girl that her brother's been possessed by an ancient sentient arm. It's not as easy as it seems." I muttered.

"It's not like he's dead." Ankh responded, "Just tell her the truth. Yuuki Rito will regain control of the rest of his body once he regains consciousness." He left out the part that he always has control over at least Rito's right hand.

"You know he's right-handed, right?" I asked bluntly.

"And that's his problem, now _open the door._ " He ordered, getting ready to push me out of the way.

"Okay, okay… just act like Rito, at least." I said, complying with his order as he scoffed indignantly. The door was opened, and Ankh stormed past me. I followed shortly after.

"We're back." Ankh called in a practiced tone. His voice is good, but not a perfect impersonation of Rito. I peeked around the corner into the living room and a ladle flew at my face.

I recoiled in pain, "Ow, ow ,ow! That hurt, what was that for?!" I yelled.

"For being late for dinner. What took you two so long?" She asked. I winced, "And what's up with Rito? His voice sounds different, and his hair is weird-looking!"

I winced again. She noticed. This girl is way too smart and mature for her age, I swear.

"Ah… Rito's not feeling too great. He failed to confess to Sairenji today, so he's really out of it." I explained. Half-truths. Half-truths work.

Sometimes. Mikan stared at me calculatingly before sighing.

"Fine. I'll find out what's with him later. You're not off the hook, though." She said. I nodded frantically and made my way up the stairs, and into my room.

I practically collapsed onto my bed, "Man~ today's been so draining. Cell and core medals, the Greeed and Yummies, and whatever those robots are about." I mumbled. Not to mention, Ankh. I seriously hope Rito gains control again soon. Come to think of it, I should probably call Saruyama and tell him what happened to Rito today with Sairenji.

I flipped my phone out and called him, "Yo, Saruyama!"

" _Hey Sato! How's it going?_ "

"I'm exhausted." I responded, "Although, Rito's pretty out of it."

" _Did he get rejected?_ " He asked.

"Nope, he didn't even confess. He just jumped into the bushes at the last second." I answered. There was a moment of silence on the other side, before I heard Saruyama roar with laughter. I had to pull the phone away from my ear, he was so loud.

" _GYAHAHAHAH! I see, he failed just as I expected._ " He laughed.

"Haah? You were expecting it? Well, I guess it _is_ his usual pattern." I laughed back. Rito has this strange pattern Saruyama and I have noticed. He can be really hot-headed and aggressive most cases, but if it's something romantic, he's so shy we can't help but mock him a little for it.

" _Yep. He's usually really aggressive, but when it comes to romance, he's pretty pathetic, that Rito_." Saruyama said.

"Anyway, I just called to let you know how it went. I'm gonna hang up now, see ya."

" _See ya!_ "

 _ **Click.**_

I'm going to take a bath.

…

"It's been such a busy day…" I mumbled, submerged in water. It's so calming to take a bath after a day like this. But still, Ankh, the Greeed, the Yummies, and everything they mean… They're all dangerous. Ankh being the only Greeed I know of so far, and I don't even know all of his goals. So far it's just "I want my Core medals back", but what are his plans after that? What will he do? Will he just be another monster? Will I have to fight him?

No. He helped me and Rito, so he can't be bad. At least, that's what I want to think.

"This really is like one of those tokusatsu shows." I decided, "I've got a transformation, there are monsters to fight, and there's lives at stake." I made my hands into fists and rose them out of the water as I looked at them. They relaxed slightly, though.

"… Or probably just the world economy. Which is still something worth fighting for." From what Ankh told me, Greeed and by extension Yummies seek out _desire_ and _value_ to create cell medals. So if one of those things were to go after the bank that could be really dangerous. But then, I don't really know all that much about the Greeed. How many are there? How strong are they?

I don't think the Japanese government covers monsters in their insurance. But with all these tokusatsu shows and movies like Godzilla, I wouldn't be surprised if they did as a joke.

"…" I thought for a moment, "Os, huh? I think I can roll with that." I murmured.

 **Pop, pop, sizzle**

I blinked as the water in the tub started to boil. Okaay, that's not normal, "Not again…" I muttered, taking the time to get out of the tub. The second I did, though…

 _ **KA-SPLASH**_

The water in the tub exploded, flooding the room, "Whoa!" I slipped and fell backwards against the wall.

When I looked up, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Not because of the absurdity of it, but because the world seemed determined to drive my life into crazy-town by midnight.

In the tub, stood a girl. She had bubble-gum pink hair and blue-green eyes, and an impressive figure. Overall, she was extremely beautiful. She was even smiling.

Now this wouldn't be a problem in of itself, were it not for the fact that she was stark naked.

" _Mmmm!_ " She hummed, "I successfully escaped!"

Her voice. Holy shit her voice.

"C… Cute…" I mumbled, averting my eyes. But wait, what just happened? Seriously! My bathtub just exploded and now there's a naked girl standing in it! I don't understand!

"Hm?" She looked at me, still smiling, "Hi."

"H-Hello…" I gave a nervous wave.

 _ **Knock, Knock**_

" _Hey! Sato, what's going on in there? Is everything alright?_ " Mikan asked from the other side of the door.

"A-Ah! Yeah! Everything's totally fine! I just… slipped getting out of the tub. I'm fine, though. No need to worry." I called back.

I heard Mikan walk away from the door, muttering something about me being a klutz, and I looked back to the girl in the tub.

She was gone. What. Did she just pull a Houdini act and disappear from the face of the Earth? There's no way she could've gotten past me, and Mikan surely would've noticed her if she did. Where'd she go?!

"Um…"

Was that all some kind of fever dream induced by what happened today? Or do I _really_ need a girlfriend? But still, that explosion… there's no way my mind could have faked that.

I decided to put on my clothes and head back to my room. Bath time was over. Well, more like ruined in a strange way.

I opened my door and… ah.

It wasn't a dream. I repeat, it wasn't a dream. Cute pinkette sitting on _my_ bed. Wearing only a towel. That's my towel.

I looked away from her form quickly enough, and closed my door.

"Ah, I'm borrowing your towel~." She waved at me.

"T-That's fine and all, but… _who_ are you?" I asked, giving her a once over. Bubble gum pink hair, check. Turquoise eyes, check. Beautiful smiling face, check. Incredible body, _check._ She's deeefinitely the girl from the bath tub. I was thankful that she at least had the decency to wear a towel, I don't know what kind of wrath Mikan would bring down upon me if she were to pass by my room and see a naked girl sitting on _my_ bed. I just know it wouldn't be pretty. I shuddered at the thought.

"Me? I'm Lala." She said simply. So… her name's Lala.

"Lala…" I repeated, staring at her eyes as I moved away from my door and over toward the lone chair in my room.

"Yep! I came from the planet Deviluke." She said it as if it were the simplest thing in the world. And maybe for her, it was. But for me…

"... I... I'm sorry, give me a moment." I turned around and slowly, but softly, banged my head against the wall.

Life, I've had enough of your shit today! Just please, leave me _alone_! First Ankh, then the mantis Yummy, and now _ALIENS?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!_

Calm... I'm calm.

"So… You're an alien?" I asked calmly despite my internal freak-out, making her giggle.

"Well, for you Earthlings, I guess I am." She confirmed. Well then. I feel like I'm the center of some cosmic joke the universe decided to pull.

As I tried to look _anywhere_ but her cleavage, she took my silence as doubt.

"Do you not believe me? Then here, look at this!" She announced, leaning forward and giving me an eyeful.

Then she turned around. She mooned me. Why did she moon me? It's not like I'm not enjoying the vie-

Does she have a tail? She has a tail. A real tail. It was mostly black, and it was long, thin, and ended with a heart shape or an arrow head.

"See? Humans don't have anything like this, do they?" She asked as I once again looked _anywhere_ but her.

"N-No, I guess they don't…" I replied, more than likely blushing furiously. Seriously, this girl… She's making me light-headed.

"Ah, although I have a tail, I won't transform when I look at a full moon, okay?" She said, and I nodded, "Why are you blushing so much? You're cute!"

You're the reason I'm blushing. Don't pretend you don't know that.

And did you just call me _cute_?

I cleared my throat and deemed it fine to look back at the pinkette beauty in my room, "O-Okay, Lala… Why did you appear in the bath tub like that?" I asked.

She made an "Oh!" noise and showed me her wrist. There was a strange-looking bracelet on her left wrist, "That's because I used this! It's this 'Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun' I created!" She announced proudly, then continued in a slightly less-proud tone "I cannot specify the destination, but this makes it possible for each living unit to warp a short distance!"

I rubbed my temples, "Okay… So this device lets you teleport, but to a non-specific location." She nodded, "Then, why were you _naked?_ " I asked.

Lala's smile faltered slightly, "Ah… That's because Warp-Kun can only warp living things."

Are… _Are you kidding me?!_ This sounds like it's straight out of a science-fiction book! Hell, there's probably a hentai-manga somewhere about this thing!

What an amazing design flaw...

"If you don't mind me asking… Where did you warp from, anyway?" I asked. We're playing twenty questions here, Lala. You'd better get comfortable.

"I used it in the bathroom of the spaceship, and it happened to teleport me to the bathtub in your house!" She explained. Okay, bathroom to bathroom. At least there's some semblance of sanity.

But then there's one question left to ask.

"Why?"

At that, Lala looked crestfallen. You wouldn't be able to tell at first because she was hiding it, but her eyes, her mouth, her entire face conveyed it to me. Great. Now I feel like a jerk for asking that question.

"I'm… being chased." She admitted, "I thought it might be safe on Earth, but the pursuers have come. I was about to be taken away on their ship, but I used this ring to get away."

"I see…" I muttered. Man… I hate seeing girls like Lala looking so sad. It doesn't fit her previous bubbly-ness.

At that moment, something came through the window.

" _Lala-Sama~!"_ It called, drawing her attention, " _Are you alright, Lala-Sama?_ "

It was a white, toy-looking figure with devil wings. It wore a white suit over a blue shirt and a red tie. It was also very, very small, adding to the toy-like image. Its eyes were little swirls.

"Another one?" It's like a running gag at this point, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

"Peke!" Lala exclaimed, her previous mood returning as she hugged it, "I'm so glad you could escape safely too!"

" _Yes! I was lucky the ship wasn't outside the Earth's atmosphere!_ " It said, before noticing me, " _Lala, who is that dull-looking Earthling?"_

DULL-LOOKING?! Did that plain-looking thing just call me _dull-looking_?!

"He lives here." Lala said, before realizing something, "Oh, I haven't learned your name yet…"

Eh? Me?

"It's… It's Takehiko. Call me Sato, though." I said, shrugging.

"Oh~. And this is Peke. He's an 'all-purpose costume robot' I made." She introduced it. It's a robot. Huh. I thought it was another alien, which wouldn't be entirely wrong. But to think she's made something so advanced… I mean, teleportation is one thing, but a sentient robot? That's insane, Lala must be some kind of scientific genius.

" _Pleased to meet you…"_ Peke waved at me from Lala's arms.

" _All-Purpose costume robot…_ " I repeated, staring at it, "What, exactly, does that mean?"

Lala threw her towel at me in response, and it fell to cover my eyes.

"O-Oi!" I yelped, "Why'd you take off your towel?"

"Well peke, I leave it to you." She said.

" _Understood! Leave it to me!_ " Peke chirped.

 _ **CHANGE! DRESSFORM, PLEASE!**_

I took the towel off my eyes and saw Lala. She- She's wearing the robot. _Literally._ The clothes she put on just look like a larger form of the robot.

My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out, "Tada~!" Lala exclaimed.

My life has become a Tokusatsu show. It's official. Her costume is weird by Earth standards, but she pulls it off quite well. Her tail comes out of the back, though.

A-At least she's wearing clothes now… Even if it is a robot.

" _It's not too tight, is it?_ " Peke asked, the robot's voice coming through the hat on Lala's head.

"It's perfect." Lala replied, "I'm glad you came quickly. Without you, I have no clothes to wear!"

No… No clothes…?

She turned her attention to me, "How does it look? It looks nice, doesn't it?"

"Y-Yeah…" I nodded. Again, she looks good in it, but how embarrassing… It looks like cosplay.

" _Lala-Sama, do you have any plans now?_ " Peke asked.

"Well, about that…" She glanced at me, "I have an idea."

 _ **CRASH!**_

And as if on cue, more people fly through the window of yours truly.

This time, it was two large men in suits, more aliens if their tails meant anything. They looked like FBI agents, sunglasses and everything.

Slowly but surely, my head hit my palm. And then Ankh knocked on the door, "Hey, Sato. What's going on in there? Is it a Yummy?"

Internally screaming, I replied, "No Ankh, everything's _just fine. I'm just fine._ "

No Ankh, I'm not fine. There are two large scary men in suits in my room, who are probably trying to kidnap this pink-haired girl. _In my room._ I feel like crying, quite honestly.

"Alright then. Keep it down, whatever you're doing in there." I heard him walk away, and turned my attention back to the aliens in my room.

"… Goodness, what a troublesome lady. I should've tied your legs and hands until we left Earth." One of the men said. That sounds… You know what, I'm not even going to think about it.

Lala closed her eyes, "Peke…"

" _Y-Yes?"_

"Didn't I tell you to be careful about followers?"

"… _You did…_ "

Then why are there two men affiliated with the Federal Bureau of Investigations standing in my room? Care to explain _that_ one to me? Because I'm not sure I understand.

"GEEEZ, YOU STUPID ROBOT! NOW EVERYTHING I'VE DONE HAS GONE DOWN THE DRAIN!" Lala screamed, flailing her arms. I don't blame her, I'd be pretty mad too if two men, who I'd evaded for so long, were lead straight to me because my costume robot forgot to check if it had followers.

Seriously though, what the hell is this scene and why is it happening in my room?

"… Are you prepared?" One of the men asked Lala. Okay then, ignore me. Not like I matter or anything.

" _Lala, why not use the bracelet again?_ " Peke suggested. I nodded my head in agreement.

Lala grimaced, "I can't…" She replied, "After I use this once, it needs a full day to recharge."

That seems a little… faulty. Well, that and the whole clothes thing.

One of the agents moved forward and grabbed her by the wrist. I simply watched as the chaos unfolded in my room. It was so much like some kind of comedy sketch, I kept expecting someone to burst out of my closet and reveal this was all a strange candid camera event. The other agent tried to help him, as he put her in a headlock. She bit his wrist. I can only think of what Mikan must hear right now, and Ankh is probably calling bullshit or looking through Rito's room. If either of them come in here… Who knows what they'll think.

 _ **SNAP**_

That's it! I've had _enough_ of life's games for one day! Screw the consequences, I'm saving the girl!

 _BATTA!_

I jumped forward and landed a kick on the man's head, causing him to let go of Lala. I took that opportunity to grab her hand and lead her out the window, "C'mon! This way!"

"S-Sato?!"

I ignored the yells of the agents as I jumped across the rooftops, Lala's hand still gripped in mine.

"Sato… Why?" She asked. I thought for a moment before responding.

"Do I really need a reason to help you?" I asked back, "I don't really get it myself, but if there's a hand reaching out for help, I can't help but reach out in response. If I don't...the regret will make me wish I were dead. I don't want that." I answered, remembering a particular scene from my life.

Yeah, if I refuse help to even one person, then I'd be disgracing _his_ memory.

I led Lala off the roof tops into a small park. I didn't really have a plan for where to go, but at this point the idea was to just run and try to lose her pursuers-

" _ **HRNNNN!**_ " One of the agents yelled as he threw…

 _ **CRASH!**_

HOLY SHIT! HE _THREW_ A TRUCK!? MAN, AM I GLAD HE WASN'T THE ONE I KICKED.

But he blocked the only way to escape. Crap.

"Don't interfere, Earthling…"

"Don't interfere," huh? Where have I heard that one today? Nonetheless, I got into position to fight. Super-strength or not, I must fight, "Don't come any closer, or I'll have to fight you!" I declared.

I don't have the Seal…

Ankh is nowhere in sight...

And I'm fighting two guys whose strength rival elephants.

Man, today just _isn't my day!_ I really need to ask Ankh to let me keep that belt.

"… Lala." One of the agents said, bowing, "Please stop trying to run away from home!"

I paused, my stance dropping. She- She's running away from home. _That's_ the reason I've been defending her.

" _EH?!_ " I exclaimed, looking at her, "You're running away from home?! Why?!"

"Because I've had enough! I don't care if I'm a successor or whatever, but I'm tired of meeting future husband candidates every day!" She yelled. Successor? Future husband candidates? Eh? What's all this about?

"B-But Lala-Sama… This is your father's will." The men responded.

Lala stuck out her tongue in defiance, "I don't care about Daddy!" She said, pulling out a cell-phone. Really, you're making a call at a time like no-

 _ **TRANSMIT! GOGO VACUUM-KUN!**_

Ooooh, I get it. It's one of her inventions and it lets her summon giant octopus death machines of-

OH!

MY!

GOD!

"W-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!" I screamed. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the most important question of the moment.

"Go! Suck them up!" Lala commanded.

And so it did.

Within a matter of seconds, the two agents were pulled into the machine. Along with a bench, a trashcan, and pretty much everything else around the area, including me. I latched onto a nearby stop sign.

"O-Oi! Lala, it's trying to pull me in! Hurry up and stop it!" I yelled over to her.

"…" She held her hand to her cheek in a contemplative manner, "This…"

"How _do_ I stop this?"

At her question, my grip faltered.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING MEEEE!" I screamed as I was pulled away from the sign. I've lived a good life.

 _ **PHINK**_

Eh? I-I'm stuck! This doesn't bode well.

The machine glowed briefly, before…

 **Ka-** _ **BOOM!**_

…

Mghghg… Oh look, stars… Where am I?

"Um… Are you okay?" A sweet, concerned voice asked. I looked up, and saw the pink-haired girl, Lala, floating in the air.

She also happened to be the reason I was hanging on a tree branch about four feet in the air, but that's not the point. You know, I'm actually glad I led her out of my room. Her using that gadget in there would have been disastrous. I don't know if the house would've survived.

"Why… Why couldn't you turn it off?" I asked, groaning.

Lala at least looked a little sheepish, "Oh, sorry. I made that machine so long ago, I'd forgotten how to turn it off." She said, rubbing the back of her head.

I sighed, accepting her apology. I guess I really can't hold it against her, anyway. What was I going to do, fight off those two agents? It's not like I can fight without being Os. I'm just glad I'm somehow still conscious.

"Could you… get me down, please?" I asked. I'm not sure I can get down on my own.

The girl nodded, and I felt a pair of gentle arms pick me up by my armpits. Slowly the ground got closer until my feet touched it, and I stood up on my own. Lala floated out in front of me, hands behind her back.

"Thanks for saving me, Sato. I was really happy." She smiled as she spoke. For some reason, that sounded like a goodbye.

My face softened as I watched her start to fly away. I've got to say something, even if I regret it later.

"Hey Lala," I said suddenly, grabbing her attention, "Since you're an alien, you probably don't have anywhere to stay, do you?" I asked.

She thought for a moment before responding, "Nope, I was just gonna fly around all night."

"Seriously?" I deadpanned, "Well, if you have nowhere to go I'm sure we have an extra futon somewhere if you want to stay at my house."

At my suggestion, Lala's face brightened. I swear I could see stars in her eyes.

"Really?" She asked. When I nodded, she seemed even happier if it were possible, "Thank you, Sato!"

I grinned in response, "It's not a problem. I'm sure Mikan and Rito would love to meet you." I said, "Now c'mon. We better get going if we want to make it there for dinner."

I wonder what Mikan's making for dinner…

…

I open the front door with much more gusto than before, strolling into the house with Lala following closely behind.

 _ **FWINK!**_

I recoiled in pain from the flying ladle that hit my forehead. Mikan was peeking over the couch, but sighed when she noticed it was me. I gave her a glare, but was at least somewhat thankful Lala seemed to be out of Mikan's view.

"Ow! What was that for?!" I demanded while nursing my forehead. That's gonna be red in the morning.

"I thought you were a burglar, I'm sorry!" Mikan apologized quickly, "What were you doing outside, anyway? I didn't notice you leave."

I paled a little bit, not knowing how I should answer her question. The only thing that came out of my mouth was a hesitant "Uh…" before I could think of anything meaningful to say. Damnit, why hadn't I thought of what I would say beforehand? Now this is awkward.

"My… My exit of the house was… non-standard." I said finally, "Look, my life has gotten a little crazy as of today, so I'd like to apologize in advance if you get involved."

Mikan rose an eyebrow, "How crazy?"

"Hehehehehe…" I laughed nervously, as I grabbed Lala's shoulder and pulled her into view. She waved cheerfully at Mikan, "I brought a friend."

"Hello!" Lala greeted.

Mikan just stared, full deadpan before smirking playfully.

"… Okay, I understand you're at that age, but I think you're still too young to pick up girls off the street at this hour." She said.

My face fell, "Mikan, is that really what you think of me?" I asked, mocking a hurtful expression. I continued, "No. She didn't come from the street. Her name's Lala. I'll explain at dinner- you're fine if she eats with us, right?"

She sighed, "I guess it's fine. But you'd better explain what's up with Rito while you're at it."

I flashed her a thumb up, "You've got it, boss! I'll tell you all about my day. When's dinner?"

 _ **DING!**_

Just as Mikan was about to answer, a ding from the kitchen caught our attention.

"About now." She responded.

I clapped my hands together, "Great! I'll help set the table."

…

I watched from my seat as Ankh descended the stairs, still finding the hairstyle he had on Rito's body a little off-putting. Lala sat to my left, while Mikan sat on the other side of the table.

Mikan had just called "Rito" down for dinner after I finished setting the table. Ankh looked a little annoyed to be called down, but seemed to be over it by the time he reached the bottom of the stairs. He was still wearing that scowl though, which remained even as he sat down across from me.

I sighed, seeing that everyone was seated and ready. Mikan was staring at me, telling me that she wouldn't hand out food until I explained everything.

"Okay, Mikan. Before I start explaining, I'm going to ask that you at least _try_ not to freak out to badly." She hesitantly nodded, and I turned to Ankh, "You don't care how much I tell them, do you?"

Ankh gave a flippant shrug, maintaining that permanent scowl.

"I don't care. It'll be fine so long as they don't get in the way of anything." He said.

"Alright…" I continued to tell Mikan about my day. I told her about how Rito failed to confess to Sairenji, and how we found a strange red coin on our way home. Telling her about how we met Ankh and how we ran away from him elected a raised eyebrow from Mikan, then wide eyes as I described the mantis Yummy. Then, as I explained about how we fought against the Yummy, Mikan slammed her hands on the table.

"He _lost_ HIS ARM!?" Mikan practically screamed at me, looking frantically at Ankh, then to me. Ankh crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair, more than likely barely listening to my story. That was fine, he was there anyway.

I groaned, a little annoyed at her interruption, "Let me continue, Mikan. Please."

She reluctantly nodded, but constantly sent glances at Ankh as I spoke. I went on to tell her about how Ankh gave me the chance to fight off the monster, and how I became Os. Then I told her about how after I defeated the monster, Ankh saved Rito by becoming his right hand and how he… possessed him. Mikan stared at Ankh after that.

"So you're… You're not my brother. You're not Rito." She whispered.

Ankh glared at her, before holding up his red hand and waving it around a little, making a few of the gestures he made when he was just the floating hand.

"That's right. I am the Greeed, Ankh." He answered with a small, arrogant smirk.

Mikan gritted her teeth a little, a dark aura forming around her, "Will I ever get my brother back…?" She asked dangerously.

I was quick to answer her, not wanting to invoke her wrath while at the same time saving Ankh, "Of course you will! If Ankh hadn't taken over Rito's body, he would've died. I… I did what I had to. Right, Ankh?"

Ankh hesitated a little, "Yes. Your brother would have died if I hadn't taken over. You should be thankful to me." He answered.

"Um…" Lala cut in suddenly, staring at Ankh curiously, "So what exactly are you? I don't get it."

Ankh rolled his eyes, "I could ask you the same question. You're not human either." He said, causing my eyes to widen. He knows?

"Wait, she's not human?" Mikan asked, looking at Lala, then to me.

"Nope~! I'm a Devilukean from the planet Deviluke." Lala chirped, her tail waving back and forth behind her, "What are you?"

I took the chance to regain control over the conversation, "Ankh is a Greeed." I answered, causing him to look at me in what I suspected was either surprise, annoyance, or a mixture of both, "He's like a homunculus."

"Homunculus?" Lala tilted her head, "What's that?"

"Feh. You're not that far off." Ankh muttered, "A homunculus is a creature made from alchemy, like the Greeed. But I'd say Greeed are far stronger than any homunculus."

"How so?" Mikan asked. I could tell she was still recovering from learning about what happened to Rito.

"You think I'll tell you?" Ankh scoffed, glaring at Mikan, "Why should I tell you anything?"

Mikan glared back at Ankh, dangerous sparks emitting from the space between them.

I cleared my throat nervously, trying to defuse the tension in the room, "Hey Mikan, I have a question. Do we have an extra futon laying around somewhere?"

Mikan blinked at my question, before thinking a little, "We _should._ It might be in one of the closets. Why do you want to know?"

"Because I figured that Lala," I gestured to the pinkette next to me, "being an alien, wouldn't have anywhere to stay. It's fine with you if she stays here, yeah?"

"I'm fine with it… It's not like she's going to be any trouble, right?" Mikan said.

Heh. Heheheh. You're only saying that because you didn't have two FBI agents in your room, but I'm not going to tell you about that.

"Great! Now that that's settled…"

I turned to Mikan with an expectant look.

"Let's eat!"

…

 **A/N:**

And thus ends the two-part prologue.

Hello hello hello everyone. It's nice to see you all again.

How was that ending? Conclusions can be the hardest part of a story or chapter, so I think I still need to work on them. Personally, I think it might've been a bit too abrupt, and I'd like to go back and change it later if I have time.

This chapter took a little bit to write, given that I'm not used to writing dialogue heavy chapters. That said, it was fun to write even though there was no monster-of-the-week this chapter. Why? I don't know, maybe I want the Greeed to take things a bit more slowly in this story so I can flesh out characters better and focus on the To Love Ru characters a bit more. Don't worry, though. Next chapter we'll get some more action, and that's a promise.

Let's discuss the details. (By the way, do you readers want me to keep writing these sections? I feel like all they're doing is giving me room to rant a little.)

 _ **Ankh needing Cell medals to heal Rito's body:**_ _It always kind of bothered me how in Kamen Rider OOO, Ankh got the body of Shingo Izumi in seemingly perfect condition, even though the officer was clearly dying. So when Ankh took over Rito's body, Rito would have lost so much blood that it would have effected Ankh as well. There are going to be a few other changes to how Ankh's possession works, but I'll let that be a secret for now._

 _ **Mikan:**_ _Dear god, I hope I got her in character correctly. I've never had to worry about a sibling the way she would when finding out about Rito's situation, so I had no idea how to write that. She also seems to me like the most mature person in the Yuuki household._

 _ **BATTA!:**_ _In the original plot of To Love-ru, Rito kicks a soccer ball to get the agents away from Lala. I thought it would be interesting to have Sato take a different approach, and instead he does a flying kick, something you would usually see a Kamen Rider do._

 _ **Lala being introduced to the rest of the house early:**_ _In canon, Rito is either unconscious or lets Lala fly away after the explosion. Sato doesn't seem like the kind of person to let her stay outside all night to me, so I had him invite her to the house. This of course segues into him explaining everything to Mikan, though._

 _By the way, am I the only one that noticed we didn't get a proper meeting between Mikan and Lala in the manga? Lala just sort of... started living in the house, and that was it._

And I think that covers just about everything I want to address right now. This story should come out on a weekly basis, but we'll see. I'm a college student, so I can't really be held to something like that.

Anyway, please review! It helps motivate me to write the next chapter, and could help me brainstorm ideas for the story! Like it? Hate it? Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, I'm eighteen. I can take it.

Have a great day, everyone!  
This is Zappy Caboose, signing off!

(This chapter has passed under the eyes of my wonderful unofficial beta-reader, XDNOVA13. That said, if you happen to notice any mistakes, please let me know. Thank you for reading!)


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own either of these series. I own only my original character(s).**

 **And we're back. I'm going to try and release these chapters every Sunday at noon, but if I can't make it then don't worry. If it comes out early, then you all got lucky.**

 **Geez, I really need a new keyboard. Looking back, I also need to practice writing fight scenes, in my opinion. But I guess you guys will let me know how I did. And HOLY HELL this chapter is long. Way longer than I intended, so let's call this a mega chapter.**

 **Before we get to the chapter though, I'd like to touch on the reviews for a moment. I feel like I've been neglecting you guys. Also, at the time of posting this, this story now has 6 reviews, 6 followers, and 6 favorites. It's like a bad omen for the chapter... *Shudders***

 _ **RedRat8 -**_ _Thanks for your support, man! And yeah, I felt like the ending to chapter two was abrupt too. I want to go back and change it if I have time, but I also want to focus on getting more chapters out and continuing the story. I definitely think Lala would be practically in Ankh's face as he tries to push her away.  
Devilukean strength, man..._ _  
_

 ** _Raidentensho -_** _What do you mean by the background music? Do you mean like the music they play during the scenes in Kamen Rider OOO, or do you mean like the Combo songs? Either way, I'm not putting song lyrics in the story unless absolutely necessary. The scanning calls are an exception since it's something the Os Driver/Scanner says._

…

 **And now, these three things happened last time on** _ **The High-Schooler King!**_

 **1) Ankh explained that the Greeed were homunculus created roughly eight-hundred years ago, held together by two kinds of medals – "Cell" medals and "Core" medals.**

 **2) While taking a bath, Sato met Lala, an alien girl who teleported into his bathtub.**

 **3) Before dinner, Sato explained to Mikan, Rito's younger sister, what happened to Rito and introduced Ankh and Lala.**

 **And now, the next chapter of** _ **The High-Schooler King!**_

…

 _ **Ching-ching-ching!**_

" _Looks like Uva's going at it again_." A cat-like humanoid with dreadlocks commented as he heard the sound of coins clinking together, " _He's using up Cell Medals like they were nothing. He must be pretty confident in himself, wouldn't you say_ Mezool _?_ "

" _Well, two of his Core Medals are being used by Os currently_." A female humanoid with a killer whale-shaped head responded, " _He's probably in a hurry to get them back,_ Kazari _._ "

 _ **CRUNCH-CRACKLE**_

The two heads snapped to a third humanoid when they heard a chunk being taken out of a tree. This one had a large, muscular form with an elephant-like head. He was mostly grey, with a brown and black torso.

" _Huh…?_ " The tough-looking humanoid mumbled quietly as he looked at his hand in disappointment, almost as if he expected his hand to take down the tree altogether.

Kazari and Mezool shared a look, then shrugged.

" _If we only had all our Core Medals back…_ " Mezool continued, " _We could consume this world in an instant! We must find our Medals!_ "

Kazari sighed and flopped onto his back, laying down in the grass, " _Well, until we find out where those Core Medals are, there's not much we can do. We'd might as well wait and see if Uva can handle Os._ "

Mezool scoffed lightly at his flippant attitude. Didn't he care about getting his Core Medals back? In her opinion, Kazari was being far too easy-going for his situation, for _their_ situation. In fact, now that she thought about it, didn't Os have one of Kazari's medals?

For a brief moment she wondered how Ankh was doing. She dismissed those thoughts just as quickly as they came, however. Ankh didn't have any of her medals, after all, and…

She had bigger issues to think about.

…

The two Devilukean agents, Maul and Smutts stood in the spaceship, their clothes singed and torn in several places. Smutts had a newly-created bald spot on the center of his scalp, and Maul's blonde hair, while a little more fortunate was in a state of disarray. They both had a look of failure as they gave the report of their mission. Which had (unfortunately) failed due to the girl's invention, the giant octopus-shaped vacuum.

"…" An unsatisfied sigh came from their superior, a man in full demonic-looking armor with a cape. The man had a thin scorpion-like tail, indicating that he too was a Devilukean.

"… So you failed. I see." The captain finally said in a tone more out of resignation than disappointment. Truthfully, he had somewhat suspected Maul and Smutts would fail, but let them pursue her anyway.

"W-We are deeply sorry for our failure, sir! We will not fail next time." Maul apologized quickly, both agents bowing.

Their captain raised a hand, stopping them.

"There will be no need." He said simply, "Since it is clear to me that she is too much for the both of you, I will descend to Earth next. Dismissed."

Both bodyguards bowed and left the ship's main room, presumably to replace their damaged clothes. The captain let out a small sigh.

"Good grief…" He muttered, shaking his head in amusement.

"… What a troublesome princess."

…

 **Chapter Three  
Misunderstandings**

…

This was a dream.

I was aware of it, because these events had already happened.

I stood in the middle of that courtyard, wearing the Os Tatoba armor. Rito was sitting on his knees, trying to stay conscious as blood leaked from where his arm used to be. Ankh was nowhere in sight, but the Mantis Yummy stood across from me, somehow more menacing than it looked in real life. Blood stained its torso and blades, which made a _shink_ sound as they were brought together.

Something about the scene told me this wasn't just a dream. It was a nightmare.

A bad one.

" _ **SURRENDER YOURSELF!**_ "

The "me" in the dream hesitated slightly as the Yummy charged at him, bringing his arms up at the last second to block the vicious swipe. I wasn't in control of my body in this dream, it seemed.

The Yummy continued its attack as I kept my arms up defensively, taking each hit with a step backwards. The power of the yellow medal charged through my arms, causing the claws on my arms to unfold and push the monster away. I quickly slashed the monster with my claws twice, forcing it back further. As the Yummy recovered, I gave a swift kick to its stomach, sending it rolling along the ground.

As the Yummy recovered, I swapped out my yellow _Tora_ Medal for the lime _Kamaki_ Medal.

 _ **TAKA! KAMAKI! BATTA!**_

Something was different about the voice from the belt as the circles rotated around me and changed my armor. It sounded… nervous. Scared, even.

I ran at the Mantis Yummy, brandishing my _Kamakiri_ swords with the intent of finishing it off.

And I would have, if it weren't for something slamming into me at the very last second.

"OOGH!"

"GUAH!" I cried as something hit me with the force of a semi-truck.

My body collided with the concrete ground of the courtyard, eventually rolling to a stop at the feet of three humanoids. One was almost cat-like, with long dreadlocks for hair. The second had a head resembling an Orca, and was mostly blue. The third though, that was the one that scared me the most. It looked like some hellish insect, with beetle-like horns and piercing green eyes.

My head slowly turned to whatever it was that slammed into me, a large body entering my view. It had a grey elephant-like head.

What's going on?! Where did these things come from?!

" _So this is Os, huh?_ " The cat humanoid asked, crouching down to look into my eyes. The insect humanoid pressed his foot onto my chest, preventing me from moving at all. He then pushed the Seal back into place, cancelling my transformation.

" _He doesn't look like much. But then…_ " The green-eyed monster paused, "… _I guess that's why Ankh chose him, isn't it? You two can feel it too, can't you? His desire?_ "

My desire...?

" _Yes. Even if we could make a Yummy from him, it would probably turn against us._ " The Orca headed-humanoid said. What does she mean by that? Hang on, create a Yummy? They can do that?

" _Hey, can I have this one?_ " The grey monster asked, drawing my attention. He sounded a little dim, but that wasn't my worry.

He was looking down at Rito.

"No… Don't! Don't hurt him!" I yelled. If they heard me, it didn't matter because they didn't react to me at all.

" _Do as you like with him. We'll deal with Os, like we did with Ankh earlier._ " The Orca lady responded, the lack of empathy present in her voice terrifying me.

"W-What did you do with Ankh?! Hey! Answer me!" I shouted from my place on the ground. Again, I went unnoticed. The insect and cat humanoids crouched down, inspecting my belt. They grabbed my green medals, and the cat took my _Tora_ and _Taka_ Medals.

" _We'll be taking these, by the way. Thanks for holding onto them for us, though!_ " The cat monster said all-to-happily as he waved the _Taka_ and _Tora_ medals in front of my face.

"Y-You…" the me in the dream growled, glaring at the cat as he took the Seal from my waist.

" _Can't give you the chance to transform again, now can we? Hehehehe…_ " He chuckled, absorbing the medals and the Seal.

Bastard…

" _Just get rid of him already. Or should I do it, since I didn't get to see Ankh off?_ " The Insect Monster asked, looking down at me as he posed his question. My eyes widened when the Cat Monster backed away slightly, chuckling with his hands gesturing in my direction.

" _Be my guest, mister bug._ " He said cheekily.

The Insect Monster growled at him, " _Insect._ " He corrected, flexing his hand in preparation. He lifted his foot as he glared down at me.

" _Goodbye, Os._ "

He brought his foot down on my head and I lost consciousness.

...

I woke up with a powerful jump, sitting up in a lurching motion as my mind went from being asleep to waking up. I was panting, still shaking from the nightmare.

God, that was horrible.

I slammed my eyes shut and focused on steadying my breath.

"It was just a dream…" I reassured myself, holding a hand to my chest. But still, what a horrible nightmare that was. I'm sweating from it.

I glanced at the window, warm sunlight reaching through the crack between my curtains. After looking at my clock, I confirmed it was roughly time for me to get up and start getting ready for school.

Knowing that…

My attention turned to the pink-haired Lala, who was sleeping on the futon placed on my floor. For whatever reason, it was decided that since Lala was _my_ guest, she would sleep in my room. It's not that I minded all that much, if at all, but…

… I sighed with flushed cheeks. The problem I'm seeing right now is that she sleeps… in the nude. That's right, she sleeps stark naked with only her sheets to cover her modesty. I'm pretty sure if Mikan had known that, she would've made Lala sleep somewhere else. I guess I could see why she sleeps naked, though. Peke, her costume robot and only form of clothing who slept next to her, probably had some sort of battery and needed to recharge by sleeping. Really, charging a battery by sleeping. What a marvel of science Peke is, even if he has trouble holding dress form for long periods of time.

I think my biggest worry with Lala is that those guys might come back again to try and capture her. If that happens, who knows what kind of invention Lala might have up her sleeve? She could accidentally destroy the house! Someone could get hurt!

…

Well, it's not like she'll be staying here forever, right? Soon enough she'll leave, right? And then, we won't have to worry about her or those agents from last night, right?

I shook those thoughts from my head. She's not what I have to worry about, she's not that much trouble. When is _Rito_ going to wake up, though? Ankh has been in control of his body since yesterday afternoon, which is a little distressing.

Doing my best not to wake her up, I stood up from my bed, grabbed my clothes, and left my room, heading for the bathroom. I'll get changed, wake up Ankh for breakfast, and head to school with him.

Once I was dressed and ready, I rattled my knuckles on Rito's (Ankh's) door. I waited for a few seconds, and the door opened to Rito's face. But it wasn't Rito, it was the hand possessing him, Ankh. He still wore the school uniform Rito had been wearing yesterday, but because the right sleeve had been completely ruined, he wore a red sleeve, (which, might I add, came out of absolutely nowhere) while his Greeed arm held the illusion of Rito's hand.

"What do you want?" He asked, resting his arm against the doorframe. I could tell he was a little annoyed at being woken up, so I tried to think up the best way to tell him he has to go to school with me.

"How long were you planning on sleeping for? We've got school today, you know." I said while gesturing to my school bag. Ankh scowled at me. I sighed, "Look, I know you don't want to go but I'm not going to let Rito fail his classes because you didn't want to attend them. Besides, what if a Yummy appears and you're not nearby?" I asked.

Ankh relented his glare slightly, "Tch. That's a good point, I guess. Fine, I'll go to his classes, but don't expect me to do any work."

I grinned a little at having won a conversation with Ankh, "That's fine. I'll cover his work as long as you go to his classes. Now, let's go get breakfast." I motioned my head toward the stairs, and walked away hearing Ankh's footsteps following me down to the kitchen.

I swear I thought I saw Ankh pale when we entered the kitchen, where Mikan was flipping eggs.

"No…" He whispered, "How could you?"

I blinked when I turned to his horrified face, "Something wrong?" I asked. He looked back at me, looking like he was almost ready to tear up.

"Nothing you need to be concerned with, _Sato._ " He said with a disgusted tone, "I just refuse to eat… those. It's not right."

"Those?" What does he mean? The eggs? Why would he not want to eat chicken eggs-

Oh. Ooooh, right. Ankh's red Core Medals are based off birds, aren't they? He mentioned it when I asked him how I would know which medals were his. I completely forgot about that. I should've realized he wouldn't want to eat anything bird-related. I'm such an idiot sometimes.

I watched him make a bee line past a confused Mikan, heading straight for the refrigerator. He opened the freezer and pulled out a few popsicles. Is he really going to eat popsicles this early in the morning? I mean, I guess if he doesn't like the alternative then it's fine…

I'm just surprised Mikan didn't stop him and tell him he would ruin his breakfast.

Shaking my head, I sat down at the table as Mikan put a plate of food in front of me. I gave her a smile.

"Thanks, Mikan."

She paused, and looked over at the stairway, "Is Lala coming down to eat?" She asked.

I blinked at her question, but chuckled slightly, "Heh, not yet. She's still asleep, and probably won't wake up until after Ankh and I leave." I answered, forking one of the eggs. Ankh gave me a look of disgust as he ate his popsicle.

Well screw you too, then.

I quietly finished my breakfast and grabbed my school bag.

"Hey Ankh, you ready to go?" I asked as the Greeed stood up as well.

"Let's just get this over with. I want to get back to my research." He said, pulling out Rito's phone. Last Christmas, Rito had gotten a new Iphone, so if I had to guess Ankh is trying to figure out how our technology works.

I shrugged, "Let's get going then. I don't like being late. See ya later, Mikan." I called as I walked out the front door. Ankh walked steadily ahead of me, his nose practically buried in the phone while his free hand held a popsicle.

...

"Uh, Ankh?" I asked after a few minutes of walking. He had somehow been walking the exact same path that Rito and I always took to school. And he'd been doing it without even looking up from the device in his hand.

"What do you want?" He asked, not looking up from Rito's phone.

"How do you know where you're going? I mean, you've never been to Sainan, right? So how do you know where the school is?" I asked, scratching at my head a little, "It seems a little strange for you to be leading."

Ankh responded with a click of his tongue and pointed at his head, right at his temple. His hand had turned back into the Greeed hand, "While I'm possessing this body, I can see its memories at any time I wish. Granted, Yuuki Rito has been putting up some resistance, but it's nothing I can't break through." He explained, turning his arm back into its disguised form.

"I see…" I murmured. He can look through Rito's memories, huh? Then does he know about Rito's… How do I say this? S _pecial ability_? If he doesn't, then I really feel bad for him. He's in for a rude awakening.

"Ah! Good morning, Yuuki, Sato." A girl's voice brought me out of my thoughts, and drew Ankh's attention away from the phone. It was Haruna Sairenji.

Uh-oh. This isn't good.

"O-Oh… Good morning Sairenji." I greeted hesitantly, waving my hand slightly. This is really bad. This is _really bad._ Ankh brought his hand to his head, drawing her attention to the strange hand. After a split-second, he drew his hand away with a _tsk_ and slowly started to walk toward Sairenji.

UH-OH.

Laughing nervously, I ran and grabbed Ankh's arm, dragging him away from the girl, "Sorry Sairenji, Rito and I have to go. We don't want to be late for school, you know!" I called as I pulled him down the street.

We rounded a corner and Ankh threw me off.

"Get your hands off of me!"

Ouch…

"What was all that about?!" I asked, pushing myself up off the ground, "You zoned out for a bit and looked like you were going to kill her-"

"I was." Ankh cut me off, folding his arms angrily, "I had no idea who she was, just that the boy was preventing me from accessing memories about her. I assumed whoever she was, she could create problems for us." He explained.

"So you were going to kill her!?" I exclaimed with widened eyes, "You can't!"

"Why not? If she gets in my way, I'll kill her." He said plainly, "You seem to know who she is. Explain."

"I- Okay." I muttered, a little frustrated at Ankh's attitude. Who the hell does he think he is, that he can just take people's lives like they mean nothing? I thought the whole point of me being Os was to save people.

"Her name is Sairenji Haruna. She's in class 1-A and happens to be Rito's crush. She shouldn't be a "problem", since I don't think she knows Rito likes her." I answered, closing my eyes, "Rito's usually quite aggressive, but when it comes to it, he can't say those three words."

"Oh really? And what words would those be?" Ankh asked. I leaned against a wall and laughed.

"It's funny really, every time he tries to confess, he freezes up and something strange happens. Every time he fails to say the only words he needs to say, "I love you"." I chuckled briefly, shaking my head. I smiled briefly. A guy like me could never say those words with any meaning.

"Oh~ You do?!"

My eyes shot open, my entire body frozen at the voice. Is that Lala? What's she doing here?! And just how much did she hear?!

"That's perfect! I feel the same way!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around me before I had a chance to say anything, "Then let's get married, Sato!"

WAIT, WHAT?! Where the hell did that come from?! Did she literally only hear the last part?

 _And did she just say she felt the same way?_ A quiet voice in the back of my head asked. I shook that thought away and returned to the real world.

"H-Hang on, Lala!" I yelled, escaping her arms. She gave me a confused look as I held my hands up, trying to distance myself, "What do you mean _let's get married_? We've know each other for what, not even a day? And when did I ever say I loved you?!" I asked. Admittedly, I probably look really flustered right now. I can feel the blood heating up my cheeks and ears.

"Um… But didn't you say that just now, silly?" She asked innocently. I… I guess I did?

"No! I mean, technically yes, but… Ugh! How do I explain this?!" I fumbled on my words trying to explain. It's not that I don't want to marry Lala. She's beautiful, nice, and really smart… It's just- I'm only seventeen! Space laws might be different, but we're on Earth! Even if we were operating on space laws, I don't really think this is the _best_ time to start a relationship like that with the Greeed and Yummies running around causing mayhem. She's a nice girl and all, but she'd really be in danger if she were around me when a Yummy shows up. I can't have that. And isn't this the same girl that complained about marriage last night?!

"Sato!" Ankh called, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked over to him, seeing that he had his Greeed arm out. He smirked in my direction, "Looks like we won't be going to your dumb school after all. There's a new Yummy." He said.

YOU HAVE THE DEVIL'S TIMING, ANKH!

"Seriously?! Now?!" I asked, letting out a groan, "I guess we better deal with it then. Man… Now I'm gonna be late. These Yummies seriously have the worst timing, y'know." I turned my attention to Lala, "Sorry, but we'll have to finish this talk sometime later. I have to do something really important and dangerous, so… it would be best if you didn't follow me and Ankh."

Lala pouted at what I'd said. Please don't make this difficult…

"But…"

As she said that, I turned to follow Ankh, who had decided to make his way in the direction of the Yummy, "I'm being serious here, Lala. You shouldn't follow us; you might get hurt."

Surprisingly, Lala accepted that easily.

"Mmm! Okay! I'll find you again later, Sato!" She said as she took flight, a large pair of devil-like wings sprouting from her hat, or rather Peke's head. Oh right, she _can_ fly, can't she? I shook my head and grinned, holding out a thumb up to her as I ran with Ankh, though I adopted a worried look as we ran to where the Yummy was wreaking havoc.

I could only wonder about the destruction the Yummy was causing.

I hope no one's been hurt.

…

 **(With Lala)**

Flight was a pleasant experience. It always had been for her. The endless blue sky painted with white puffy clouds, the wind blowing through her hair... She could see the entire city from where she was, high up in the sky. A crow was startled by her sudden appearance, having never seen what it perceived as a flying human, amusing her slightly. But still, she couldn't help but feel worried for that human she'd befriended. The black-haired human she had… well, fooled was too strong of a word, but she had chosen him. She had chosen him as her escape from her suitors. The reason she felt worried was because of how serious he had sounded when he told her what he'd be doing was dangerous. She'd be lying if she said it didn't scare her.

" _Lala-sama?_ " Peke asked suddenly. Lala masked her worried expression with a smile.

"Yes, Peke?"

" _Are you really going to marry that strange Earthling?_ " Peke questioned, his eyebrows furrowing. He knew Lala had a habit of making somewhat rash decisions at times, but this was a little _too_ rash in his opinion.

"Yup. Why?"

" _I mean, he seems nice and all, but… Lala-sama, you're the princess of the Devilukean Empire, which reigns over the entire galaxy. Even if he can_ supposedly _transform into whatever Os is, marrying him means that the Earthling named Sato will become-_ "

"Geez, stop worrying about it, Peke!" Lala cut her robot off with a small pout, "Just let me do whatever I want~!"

"…" Peke couldn't help but worry. Whoever Sato was, Peke couldn't help but feel that getting involved with him and Ankh could be dangerous.

He couldn't be closer to the truth.

…

 **(First Person)**

Ankh and I entered the bank, which was understandably in a state of chaos.

Yep, it was a bank. It just had to be a bank, didn't it? The new buildings, too. Either way, the alarm blared through the building, as if there was a robbery occurring. And I guess in all technicality, there was a robbery happening. We arrived just in time to see the monster rip open the doors of the bank's safe and enter the dark room. The creature had gray skin covered in white bandages, giving it an appearance similar to a mummy. Huh. Wonder if that's where the name came from?

"You've gotta be kidding me… Is that the Yummy?" I asked, pointing to the dark room where the figure was eating gold bars.

Ankh nodded, "Yeah, that's it. The ice cream without the stick."

Ah, we're continuing that metaphor, are we? He seems to be nearly obsessed with ice cream…

Nonetheless, I held out my hand expectantly after Ankh confirmed what it was.

"Right, let's go then." I said, not taking my eyes away from the room. Ankh gave me an annoyed look.

"What?" He asked, with his hands still in his pockets.

"Aren't you going to give me the medals? I have to transform!"

Ankh slapped my hand out of the air, returning his attention to the Yummy.

"Not yet. If we defeat it now, we won't get many medals. When it feeds, it creates medals and grows stronger. The stronger it is, the more medals we'll get from it. We could even get a hundred or so!" Ankh explained as the Yummy continued to literally eat our economy.

Christ, Ankh… I guess I can see what he's saying, but…

"But what it's eating is…" I started, only for Ankh to (rudely) cut me off.

"Desire. It's eating desire. Be it Cell or Core, all medals are fueled by desire. Specifically, human desire." He said casually.

"Desire…" I muttered, just as something happened to the Yummy, "Woah!"

The Yummy spontaneously burst into green flames, and something crawled out of it. It had several hands, slightly resembling some kind of bug I didn't know the name of. As it crawled away, the original version of it vanished into dust.

"Wait and let it get more medals. We'll take it out when the time is right."

By "we", you mean me, don't you? I don't exactly favor the thought of you fighting in Rito's body…

I watched as the Yummy exited the building, prompting Ankh to tap my chest with the back of his hand, "Come on, follow it."

He's serious about letting this thing get strong, isn't he? What if it gets so tough I can't defeat it, then what?

Moreover, what if someone gets hurt? It's my duty to help them and stop the monster, isn't it?

By the time we caught up with the monster, it had emerged from a large hole in the wall. It's eating the building, are you kidding me- This is a new building!

"Hey, Ankh!" I yelled, "Don't you think I should transform now?! At this rate, it's gonna destroy the building!"

"That's the point. You can destroy him after he's eaten the building, so we can get as many medals as possible." Ankh said. This guy…

"Don't you care about the people in the building? They could get killed!"

At my question, Ankh turned to me with a glare.

"Tch. I don't care what happens to them. I think you're misunderstanding something, though…" He said, before he moved forward, grabbing my shirt's collar like a school bully. Hearing those words come from Rito's mouth, though…

It really kind of pisses me off. I glared back at him defiantly as he continued.

"Your purpose is to collect medals for me, not to protect random people you don't know. I need cell medals, so just wait for that Yummy to grow stronger!" He said, as parts of the ceiling fell around us. That thing is eating this building at such a fast rate… It's gonna collapse!

I grabbed his hand and ripped it off my collar, "We need to get out of this building! Like, NOW!" I yelled. He looked up at the cracks in the ceiling and nodded. We sprinted out of the crumbling building.

We made it out just in time to see the Yummy come out of a hole roughly halfway up the building, only for the building to fall onto it and hit the other building. Ankh turned to me.

"You remember how we didn't survive easily last time you fought a Yummy?" At that question, I nodded. The dream I had last night resurfaced in my mind, making me grimace, "Well, nobody's life is going to be saved for free, like how I saved Yuuki Rito to use as my vessel. You'll do what I tell you to!" His words hit me like bricks, as his permanent scowl infected my face as well. Something didn't add up, though.

"You… There's something I've been wondering." I said. Ankh tilted his head slightly, as if to say "ask away".

"Why? Why did you help Rito and I? As a hand, you could've just flown away at any moment, but you didn't. I get that you couldn't just ditch your Core medal, but you could've taken it from me and fled! Why didn't you? Do you secretly care about us or something, because I really doubt that at this point!" I ranted, and I was aware I was doing so. Ankh flinched a little each time I yelled, "Because clearly, all you care about is getting your precious Core medals back and getting more Cell medals! You obviously don't care about humans, so why even go through the effort of saving Rito?! Hey! Answer me!"

I couldn't help but feel a little guilty after yelling all of that. I also felt a little surprised that Ankh didn't start yelling too, but maybe he was surprised I was _that_ angry and decided I probably needed this. I was surprised at myself, too. I didn't think I was the kind of person to fume like that. I looked back up at the building the Yummy was climbing up to, and cringed. Those people… If I don't do something, they'll all be killed if they can't get out of the building fast enough. Why the hell am I wasting time yelling at Ankh!? _That_ guy wouldn't still be standing here if he were in my shoes!

"Sato, I—" He started in that same arrogant tone, but I waved a hand in front of him dismissively.

"Just forget about it. I'm going to go save those people, with or without your power." I announced, running to the building. I ignored Ankh's shout, and searched for a quick entrance. Fire escape! There it is!

I rushed up the stairs, the building shaking as I stepped over rubble that had fallen from the stairway above it. In a manner of a few minutes, I had made it to the top floor. I opened the door, passing by a few people that were trying to escape the building, leaving one man in the room.

A dull, echoing sound that constantly came from the Yummy filled the room as it climbed up. It slowly came into view, startling me with how big it had gotten. How?! Is there no limit to how big it can get? It's nearly half of the building's size!

Just as I thought this, the Yummy grabbed a man.

"Oh crap!" I yelled, running to the man and grabbing his hands. I pulled him from the monster's grasp, the man thanking me as he stood up, "You need to get out of the building! It's not safe here anymore!" I yelled over the Yummy's noises and the shaking of the building. The man frantically nodded and took off out the door I'd entered from. I sighed in relief once the door closed, only to lose my balance as the building shook violently. I felt myself stumble backwards. What's backwards!

Falling. I fell out the window.

"Shit!" I yelled as my hands latched onto the window frame. And now I'm outside, roughly God-knows how many feet in the air. If I were to fall from here… Surely, I would die. I could see the Yummy, it's massive form had paused to take a break from what it was doing.

Shit! Losing my grip!

… Man! Lala can fly. I'm starting to regret telling her not to follow me... No, no I'm not. I don't want her to get involved in this. Although… No! No. She really shouldn't be in danger because of me. That's stupid, I'm stupid. And if I die here, everyone will think so. I wonder how Mikan would react to my death… How would Lala take this? She barely knows me, so I don't think she'd care much if I died. Saruyama would probably get over it within a week, and Rito… Shit, Rito. My parents? They're hardly around to miss their only son, and Rito's parents would probably care more!

GAH! Curse my inability to do proper pull-ups!

"Well…" I muttered as I felt a few of my fingers slip, "I guess this is it… If Ankh is still down there, I hope to God he catches me. Otherwise, guess who's getting haunted." I added humorously, despite my current condition.

I blinked as I felt a hand grab my free one. Ankh!?

" _Is there no limit to your idiocy?! You moron, do you realize how inconvenient your death would be for me?!_ " He yelled as he pulled me up.

Wait, but he's just a hand.

"You… Where's Rito? Is he okay?" I questioned, from my still-hanging position, still in danger, but as close to falling as before. I could _feel_ Ankh roll his eyes. If he had any, that is.

" _Is now_ really _the time to be worrying about other people?! Just hurry up and transform already, you idiot!_ " He berated, holding the Seal out to me. I stared at it. Now's my chance…

"Okay, but you have to promise me one thing!" I said, "You have to let me transform when I want to! And stop acting like Medals are more important than human lives, Ankh!"

" _Hah…? What makes you think I'll promise you that?_ " He asked.

"Because if you don't, I'll never transform for you again!" I yelled, feeling my grip loosen. I'm taking a serious gambit here. If he doesn't agree to this… I'm toast. Or maybe a pancake? Jam, considering I'll go splat? Eh, screw the metaphor.

" _Tch! Damn you…!_ " Ankh cursed, looking away. It's kind of funny how even in hand form, he's still just as animated. But this isn't the time to be thinking about that…! CRAP!

 _ **RUMBLE, RUMBLE**_

My grip faltered as the Yummy started moving again, causing the building to shake more. I felt my hands leave the bar I was holding onto, as gravity took control over me. The cool wind blew through my hair as I fell. My eyes widened as Ankh chased after me.

" _SATO! NO!_ "

Hah? Does he care or something? I thought I heard something like concern in his voice, but maybe I'm just imagining it.

He caught up with me quickly, and put the seal to my waist causing the belt to form. After that, he held up the three medals to my face.

" _Come on! Hurry and transform!_ " He commanded. I grabbed him.

"Only if you promise me!" I yelled, looking up (down?) at the rapidly approaching ground.

Ankh groaned, " _Fine! Fine, I promise! Now transform already or you'll die!_ "

At that, I snatched the medals from his hand and slotted them in, "Thank you, Ankh!"

"Henshin!"

 _ **Ta-To-Ba! Tatoba, Ta-To-Ba!**_

I dug my claws into the side of the building to slow my fall with a grinding sound, the armor having skipped the flair and materialized the armor, maybe due to the urgency of the situation. That said, it still hurt my legs a little when I hit the ground. I rolled off the rubble I landed on and fell to my feet, panting.

"I'm still alive…" I mumbled, looking up at the start of the claw marks. They started roughly halfway up the building, creating an architect's worst nightmare.

 _ **BRNNNnnnn…!**_

What's that? A motocycle!?

A man on a motorcycle pulled up, parking the bike a few feet away from where I stood. Who is that guy? Doesn't he know it's dangerous here?

The man on the bike removed his helmet revealing messy dark brown hair. I blinked as he grabbed a large box off the bike and walked toward us.

"Ah…! Sorry, the building is…" I started, assuming he might work at the building.

"This is _your_ birthday present, from someone very important." He announced, holding the box out to me. I tilted my head in confusion.

"Birthday present…? But it's not…" He pushed the box into my arms and opened it.

Ohmygod is that a _sword_?!

" _What…?!_ " Ankh stuttered, looking over my shoulder. I didn't miss the fact that the guy smirked a little at Ankh's reaction while I grabbed the sword from the box.

"So cool…!" I breathed, looking up at it as I held it in the air. It's a really cool-looking sword! It had a blue edge on its blade, and it looked like I could use medals with it.

Happy birthday to me~! It's not my birthday but I'm not complaining, no siree~!

I'm sorry.

While I sang that horrible song in my head, the biker held out some Cell medals to me. I counted roughly five.

"Put a medal into that machine over there. It'll give you an edge in your fight." He nodded over to the vending machine. Wait, what?

"And now I'm confused. How will soda help?" I asked, looking back at him.

"Just do it." He said. Well, okay. No point in wasting any time, I suppose.

I walked over to the machine, the sword in my left-hand resting on my shoulder. I looked over the machine, recognizing it a little, "Oh hey, it's like that machine from yesterday." I commented, slotting in the Cell medal.

I blinked, looking over the machine, "Um… Ah!" I pressed a large black button just above the slot for coins. The result made me step back in awe.

The vending machine moved, several parts shifting and turning until it had transformed into a bike – just like that guy's – before my eyes.

"It transforms into a _motorcycle?!_ Awesome!" I exclaimed, hopping onto it and looking back to the agent. He gave me a barely noticeable grin, and I looked back down at the motorcycle, "But wait, I don't know how to ride a motorcycle..." I realized.

" _Sato, now would be a great time to learn_." Ankh said, looking up. I suddenly became aware of the shadows closing in on me.

"Shoot!" I yelled, looking back at the bike. I think this accelerates- WOAH!

The bike rushed forward as the rubble from the building just barely missed me, and I sped past the agent who turned his bike back into a vending machine. I pulled up next to him as he slotted in a coin.

"There is another gift for you." He said as he pushed a few buttons on the machine. Small blue cans flooded out of the bottom.

"That's a lot…!" I muttered, watching the ground fill with little cans. A robotic voice came from the machine.

 _ **OCTOCAN!**_

"Octocan...?" I asked.

The agent- I really need to learn his name for all the help he's giving me – picked up one of the cans and opened it, letting it rest on his hand. The result was immediate, as the can opened up and turned into… an octopus?

"What the…?" I asked quietly, before the rest started opening. More and more small octopi flooded the area, flying through the air. They slowly joined together, creating a ramp.

"They're cans that turn into octopi and form a bridge? Where are you guys getting all this cool stuff?!" I asked hysterically, looking back at the agent," Hey, what's your name anyway?"

"It's Goto. Shintaro Goto." He answered, before pointing to my sword, "You can place medals into that sword, too."

I knew it!

"So I can, huh? I don't know who you work for, but thanks, Goto!" I called, before putting my hands back on the handles of the bike. Okay, slowly this time…

AH! Too fast! Wait! I'm in control. I drove the bike onto the ramp of octocans, and as I came closer to the end of the ramp, the ones from the start continued the path.

I followed the ramp of octopus cans all the way up to the… oh. We're going above the roof.

They can't seriously…!

No octocans extended the road. They stopped, forcing me to take to the air.

I guess this is happening now. I brandished my sword as I closed in on the Yummy, which had somehow grown even bigger since I last saw it.

"ZEA!"

I let out a cry as I slashed the Yummy. Medals flew from its wound for Ankh to collect. I quickly turned the bike, hopping off it as I looked up at the Yummy. It's huge…!

And it's noticed me. One of its massive hands moved to strike me, making me dodge back away from the Yummy. I'm not going to be able to get close if it's like this!

 **CRUMBLE!**

The Yummy brought down one of its hands on the ground in front of me, creating a large hole. I rolled back and lost my grip on the sword. It flew off the roof, spiraling downward to the ground. Yeah, this is bad… I mean, crap! I just lost my cool sword!

" _Sato!_ " Ankh called, floating in the air with the Octocans, " _What are you doing, playing with it?! Quit screwing around! Use this!_ "

He tossed the _Kamakiri_ Medal to me, and I got up with a grin he couldn't see, "Ha, I guess I was being too careless. Thanks!" I said as I took out the _Tora_ medal and slotted in the new one.

 _ **TAKA, KAMAKI, BATTA!**_

"Let's go." I looked back at the Yummy with my new swords. I dodged around one of its swipes as I swung my swords against its legs, medals falling to the ground with each hit. It kept turning though, which prevented me from focusing on any one limb. This thing is surprisingly fast for its size!

The Yummy moved another limb, avoiding one of my strikes. This is starting to get annoying…

"Just stay still, you monster!" I yelled, swinging both my swords at one of its limbs. I emphasized the swings with a cry, "ZEA!" accompanied by the sound of medals hitting the ground. The Yummy fell, its head resting just in front of me.

 _ **THUD**_

I sighed and caught my breath. Then I realized something.

"Is it dead? Didn't the last one explode when it died?" I asked, inspecting it slightly.

I went to hit it for good measure. I regretted that decision quickly.

Almost immediately before my sword hit it, the head sprang up, smacking me and throwing me into the air. It played dead!

Clever… Whatever it is!

But crap, I'm falling off the building again! I let out a scream as I felt the rush of the wind. The ground steadily became closer, I wondered if the Os armor would save me. Even if it couldn't, I braced myself for the impact by putting my arms in front of my face.

Here I go…!

…

Huh?

Something wrapped around my right foot. I looked down (up?) and saw that the ground wasn't getting any closer.

Oh hey, it's the sword. It's stabbed into the ground just below me, I think I – no, I know I can reach it. But what stopped my fall?

I looked at my feet and grinned, "Octocans are so awesome… Hey, wait for a second." I ordered to the Octocan latched onto my foot. A line of octocans led from the roof of the building to my foot, each of them holding the next until the last one grabbed my foot.

I seriously feel like shaking the hand of whoever made these things for saving my life so many times.

I grabbed my sword and –

"WOAH!" I yelled as the octocans pulled me up rapidly. Within a matter of seconds, they had pulled me all the way back up to the top of the building, passing Ankh along the way. I blinked and swapped out my _Kamakiri_ medal.

 _ **Taka, Tora, Batta! Ta-To-Ba! TaToBa, Ta-To-Ba!**_

With the song, the Yummy came into view again.

I'm really getting sick of seeing this thing. I think it's time I got rid of it.

I brandished the sword as the Octocans let go of me, letting me fly up and onto the Yummy. I brought my sword down on it, the Yummy panicking. I stabbed it again, and we jumped off the roof, the Yummy taking the full force of the fall while I landed on a trampoline of Octocans. Unfortunately, the Yummy quickly recovered and started to barrel toward me, making me run away from it.

"Crap, this thing doesn't know how to die!" I yelled, realizing that my sword was barely hurting it, "Wait… the sword can be used with medals, can't it?" I turned on my heels to face the Yummy, taking three of the medals from my belt and slotting them into the sword. Each coin put in was punctuated with a distinct pulsing sound.

1…

2…

3…

Three seems to be the most I can put in at once. Now I just have to wait for it to get close enough. Every step the monster made as it crawled toward me sounded like thunder in a storm, shaking the ground and almost making me lose my balance.

" _Hey! What are you waiting for Sato?! Just kill the damn thing already!_ " Ankh yelled. I didn't answer him, but slowly breathed in and out, not taking my eyes off the Yummy. I think it's close enough now…

"Alright then…" I called to the monster as I used the Os scanner on the sword, "Let's see how you handle this!"

 _ **TRIPLE SCANNING CHARGE!**_

"ZEA!"

With a battlecry, I swung my sword horizontally across the monster, and despite not hitting it, something spectacular happened. It was like I cut the very fabric of reality itself, a thick white line of light highlighted the air where I had swung. And then, everything above the line shifted slowly, moving. I mean everything – buildings, the sky, and especially the Yummy – they all moved as if cut in half.

For a second, my heart fell. Did I just destroy that building? I'm pretty sure there were people still in there!

Luckily, everything shifted back into place. I let out a sigh of relief.

 **KA-** _ **BOOM!**_

I jumped in my armor as the Yummy exploded violently just as it went back into place. I guess I did hit it with a sword that sorta distorts reality, didn't I? The explosion was probably justified this time, then… I didn't think I would be able to destroy that thing, but this sword is a real game-changer.

Medals rained from the sky, Ankh hovering over me like an umbrella trying to catch every medal. There were so many, maybe ranging in the hundreds. I looked back to Goto, who had gotten back onto his motorcycle with his helmet on. He looked at me, and we shared a nod.

 _Thanks._

After that, he drove off. I turned my attention to the flying hand. I deactivated my transformation and tossed the colored medals to him, but kept the seal. Somehow, the sword disappeared along with the belt strap. I guess I should be thankful for that, since I won't have to carry the sword into school. Speaking of school...

"Hey, Ankh." He didn't respond, being too busy collecting medals, "After you're done here, go grab Rito's body so we can go to school."

That caught his attention. I could feel his annoyance.

" _We still have to go?! Damn it!_ " He cursed, before huffing, " _Fine. Since you destroyed the Yummy, I'll live with it._ "

I nodded, and thought for a moment. I need to say something…

"Hey Ankh…" I called.

" _What?_ " He asked collecting as many medals as he could. We should be fine on medals for a while after this.

I looked away, scratching my head.

"Sorry for yelling at you earlier. I've had a lot of stress build-up recently. I didn't mean to scream at you, I just… I lost control." I admitted, still looking away.

Ankh looked at me for a moment before speaking, " _Whatever. It's like you said, forget about it. Do you honestly think I care if you yell at me? Hell no, I don't. Scream all you want, as long as you gain medals for me it's tolerable._ "

I chuckled briefly at his reply, "You asshole..." I muttered under my breath, looking back at him. He was hovering around the ground now, collecting the medals he couldn't catch. I deactivated the transformation and walked over to one of the vendors and slotted in a medal. I pressed the button, and stepped back as the machine transformed into bike form.

" _What are you doing?_ " Ankh asked, staring at me.

I gave him a smirk, "We're late for school, so we'll arrive in style."

…

( **Unknown** )

The battle against the weevil-like Yummy was spectated by a man from afar. He was quite tall, with grey hair and blue eyes, and wore a full set of demonic armor. A long, black cape was caught in the wind, fanning out behind him and making him appear larger than he already was.

Of course, a giant monster destroying a building would catch the attention of any off-worlders. And he just so happened to be the captain of the ship sent to retrieve a wayward princess, having gotten lost and stumbled upon this spectacle purely on accident.

He'd witnessed the battle from its technical start, from the point the boy transformed into a multi-colored warrior. He'd admit, he was surprised at that development. His interest was caught further when another boy appeared and gave him a sword. The weapon itself looked somewhat impractical in his eyes, but it was a weapon nonetheless, and the warrior would need it if he wanted to fight the monster. In all honesty, the man could have gone down there and helped them himself if he weren't so interested in seeing how it went. So when the vending machine turned into a bike and the cans turned into flying creatures, the man's attention was drawn again, as he watched the warrior ride his vehicle all the way up the road made by the creatures, all the way up to the monster.

He watched curiously as the fight started, and how the warrior lost his sword, and changed his armor to fight the monster. He couldn't help but think that armor that could change form depending on the situation would be extremely useful in the Devilukean army, especially since he had only seen two forms of the armor.

As the rest of the fight went on, he gradually lost interest. It wasn't until the end of the battle that his attention was gained again, when the warrior used his sword to kill the monster. He could feel the rip in reality the boy caused, as everything caught within the sword's swing was cut in half, then put back together. The only thing that didn't survive was the monster, which exploded spectacularly. Curiously to him, small silver coins or medals rained from the sky, a few even reaching where he stood on a rooftop.

The man inspected a few of the silver medals, "Earth…" He murmured, "Perhaps it's not as underdeveloped as I'd heard. There may be some hope for this planet in the Devilukean Empire, after all. But still, from what my men have told me, Lala-sama is somewhere on this planet now. I will ask her to return home at once…" He sighed with a small smile, "…even if I have to force her a little."

...

 **A/N: And thus ends the longest chapter I have ever written.**

 **It could have been longer, but I felt like it would be overkill. That said, remember how at the beginning I said this was a "mega chapter"? That's right, every third chapter is going to be extra-long! Why? Because I hate myself, that's why! Hahahaha...**

 **... Not really, I just thought it would be fun to include with the rule of threes. I was originally going to write another fight into this chapter, but it was already at 8,000 plus words and I'm really not the type that likes to write especially long chapters, or even read really long chapters. Although, I really do feel like I need practice writing fight scenes, and writing a fight scene against a giant monster isn't exactly the best way to practice this. Being a college student though, I'm being assigned essays and homework and all sorts of fun things, so I'm getting some practice.**

 **Should I also mention this is the second time I've written this chapter, by the way? The first version got all sorts of broken unfortunately, and I had to rewrite this. The original version of this had Rito waking up instead of Ankh, but I decided to change that in this version. And the dream Sato had? Eh, I'll let you guys think about that. I thought it would be cool to write, honestly.**

 **I'm deciding to stop putting those detail sections at the end of chapters, by the way. I feel like they were just a way for me to add more words to the document and make me feel good about myself.**

 **And I think that's about all I have to say. I don't like to sound like I'm begging, but please review. It helps with my morale to write more chapters of this story I'm still planning for, and I actually really enjoy reading what everyone has to say. Even if it's pure hate or flaming, I can at least make fun of it later when I talk about the reviews.**

 **That's it for this chapter! See you all next time,**

 **This is Zappy Caboose, signing off!**

(This chapter has passed under the eyes of my wonderful unofficial beta-reader, XDNOVA13. That said, if you happen to notice any mistakes, please let me know. Thank you for reading!)

 **P.S. My biggest problem with Kamen Rider OOO: Eiji's hammerspace. Seriously, where does he keep the Medajalibur? I can't remember if that's ever covered, but I can't imagine he just lugs it around with him.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own neither of the series in this crossover. I do however own my own original character and ideas.**

 **Well hello hello hello everybody. Howzit?**

 **So apparently if you don't have a cover image for the story, it defaults to your profile picture. Wonderful, so now this story is represented by Yuuki Terumi's Ghost from Blazblue. I made that image in MSPaint, by the way.**

 **Man, I didn't mean for this chapter to be so long... It just happened. I think this is also the chapter I choose to push the rating to M. It probably should have been M from the start, considering it's To Love-Ru, but I didn't think about that at the time, haha. Anyway, for perspective on how I work, I completed this chapter on Tuesday. I typically write when I have burst of motivation, which happens anywhere from three to four times a week. Otherwise, I'm dedicated to other things like College. I'm amazed I finished this chapter so quickly, though. I've been addicted to a game called _Touhou: Puppet Dance Performance_ recently. It's like Pokemon but not, being similar and even based on Pokemon, but it has different mechanics that scare me, like spending points to reinforce stats and choose which abilities your team will use in battle. Which of course implies that this game is going to get really difficult at some point, and I'm already getting my ass kicked. And all of the "Pokemon", known as puppets, are smaller versions of Touhou's cast. It's pretty fun. I plan on doing a nuzlocke later.**

 **But enough about me, let's get on to the chapter-**

 **Right after I cover these three things that happened last time on _The High-Schooler King, OOO!_**

 **1) Sato accidentally confessed to Lala, who asked him to marry her despite it being a misunderstanding.**

 **2) Sato convinced Ankh to let him hold onto the Os Driver.**

 **And 3) Using a sword given to him by Shintaro Goto, Sato destroyed the Otoshibumi Yummy.**

 **Now, the weekly chapter of _The High-Schooler King, OOO!_**

…

 **Chapter 4  
Regret Nothing ~ Tighten Up!**

...

I let out a breath as I took off my helmet. Riding a motorcycle was certainly a different experience from riding a bicycle, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. It's exhilarating, to be honest. I hopped off the bike and hit the black button, turning it back into its vending machine form as I slung my school bag's strap onto my shoulder so I wouldn't have to carry it. I don't think I've ever been this late to school before, not since I had those fevers…

I shuddered involuntarily.

Unfortunately, I still had some walking to do since Sainan High School doesn't exactly permit motorcycles, and if I were to ride one onto school property I'd probably get suspended or something. So I had to stop a few blocks away from school.

Ankh trailed behind me, with his eyes practically glued to Rito's phone. He still looked a little annoyed at having to go to school with me, but I guess he's mostly gotten over it by now. That said, the silence on this walk is starting to kill me.

I couldn't help but say something to break the silence, "Hey Ankh, have you figured out how to use that thing yet?"

He glanced up at me for a moment before returning his attention to the phone, "I've already mastered the usage of this device. It's strange… Humanity's technology has changed so much since eight hundred years ago."

I nodded, "Welcome to the modern era, Ankh. Using the internet, you can view information from all around the world." The Greeed 'hmmm'd at that, "It's pretty awesome in my opinion, how we humans can change so much."

Ankh snorted in response, "Humanity's technology may change, but as a race you will always be the same. You can never get rid of your deepest desires, no matter how hard you try." He said cynically.

I clicked my tongue as we walked through the school's gates. Would it kill him to be positive for once? He seems to be really negative about the human race. I wonder how he feels about aliens like the Devilukeans… Hell, he probably perceives Lala as a problem and just hasn't acted on it yet because he doesn't know what to think.

"Hey dudes!" I heard a familiar yell. Saruyama…?

Sure enough, the black-haired pervert ran toward us, stopping a few feet away. He put his hands on his knees, panting. I quickly realized he must've been running around.

"Yo, Saruyama." I greeted holding a hand up, "What's going on?"

"I've been looking for you two all over school. Where've you been?" he looked up to me, then to Ankh. He blinked, "Woah. You look different, Rito. That hair color looks pretty good, but your uniform… The SDC is gonna _kill_ you."

While "Rito" rolled his eyes, I suddenly felt a little nervous at the mention of the school's disciplinary committee. For whatever reason, this school takes its horrible taste in fashion seriously. There really isn't any room for alteration to the school uniform, and quite frankly I'm surprised they let me keep my school jacket unbuttoned. We're already late, and Ankh's jacket is all torn up… I just hope they're in a good mood today. Strict doesn't even _begin_ to describe them.

Although, he should be fine if Sairenji is the Rep for our class. I just hope he doesn't run into anyone else on the committee.

I snapped my fingers getting Saruyama's attention, "Hey, you said you were looking for us?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Saruyama suddenly glared at me, "Actually, just you!" I blinked in surprise, "There's a pretty girl looking for you! What's the meaning of this?!"

What?

"Pretty girl…?" I asked, before my eyes widened. I turned to Ankh, who held a look of realization similar to my own, "You don't think it's…?"

"Knowing your luck by now, probably." He answered, scowling in my direction. Ah geez…

It's Lala, isn't it? Man, that girl… How did she even find out where I went to school? Did Mikan tell her?

I sighed, "You've gotta be kidding me…" I turned to Saruyama, "I guess I better go see her then, let's go."

Saruyama turned and followed me as I ran through the halls, while Ankh just looked annoyed and trailed slowly behind us. While we ran, I couldn't help but hear the chatterings of the students I passed by.

"Oh man, did you _see_ that girl?"

"Yeah, what a hottie."

"But what was with that outfit?"

"I don't know, it looked like cosplay."

"That's not important! Isn't she really pretty?"

I shook my head as I listened. It was only further confirmation that Lala was indeed in this school, and that I needed to find her before she got herself into trouble. I increased my pace, scanning the crowds for a head of pink hair.

Where is she?!

"Satoooo!" I heard Lala's voice call from around a corner, "Where are you? Come on out, Satoo!"

Geez, she's looking for me too?

I turned around the corner and watched two guys approach the pinkette, both of them with love-struck eyes.

"Hey… Are you in the drama club?" One of them asked. What the hell is with that question and why does it sound perverted?

The other one at least sounded a little sensible, "W-We'll help you look for this Sato guy! He's in class 1-A, right?"

One, yes I am. Two, that won't be necessary.

I cupped my hands to my mouth as I yelled, "Hey Lala!"

The alien girl turned to me with a large, adorable smile, "Ah! There you are, Sato! I found you!" She greeted. That's what I should be saying to you.

I shook my head, "Lala, what are you doing here? Didn't I tell you not to follow me and Ank- I mean, Rito?" I asked. Instead of answering immediately, the girl thrust two bags into my face.

Huh?

"I didn't~!" She said, "Mikan asked me to bring these to you at school, so I did~! Hehe~!"

Wait, is that my lunch? And Ankh's too?

I checked my bag, and noticed that my lunch was in fact missing from the things I usually kept in it. Wow, I must have been in a hurry this morning if I forgot to get my lunch from Mikan.

"Hey hey, Sato. Who is this girl?" Saruyama asked from behind me, "How do you know her?"

… Crap.

I bit my lip nervously as I desperately thought for an answer to his question. The eyes of several male students bore into me as I scratched my head sheepishly. I can't let them know she's an alien or who knows what might happen to Lala. The government could get involved and that would just make a huge mess… Not to mention, the government would... be very _interested_ in Lala, to say the least.

"Uh…" I started weakly, not knowing what to say. That was when Lala wrapped her arms around my arm in a tight embrace, surprising me and the students surrounding us. Ankh arrived just in time to see us, and shook his head with his usual scowl when he saw the situation I was in.

H-Her breasts are pushing against my arm… She's so close, I can smell her hair without even meaning to…

"Me?" She asked, "I'm Sato's bride, Lala!"

" _Wh-WHAT?!_ " The collective roar of the male student body hurt my ears. I rubbed my ears in pain until it dawned on me what Lala had said.

Right, I haven't settled that with her, have I?

"Lala, that's not…!" I started, but stopped when I saw her smile. Damn it... I've gotta tell her it was a misunderstanding, but I don't want to hurt her feelings... What do I do...?

"Sato… YOU… How _DARE_ you get a girl before me!" Saruyama yelled, sharing the soulless eyes of the students with him.

This… This is gonna be _bad,_ isn't it?

"Now, now… Lala's just joking, right? Right, Lala?" I asked, looking at Lala who suddenly regarded me with a hurt expression. My face fell upon seeing her. I was right, this was going to hurt. In a lot more ways than one.

"But…" Lala murmured, just loud enough for everyone to hear her, "You told me you loved me this morning… Was that really just a lie?"

"I… Um… Er… That's…" I struggled to answer that question. She's got me in a corner…

 _ **DOOOOM….**_

A sudden feeling of dread filled my mind as I slowly turned to face the students that gathered, each of them sporting a face that made the scene look like I was about to be attacked by demons. I shuddered, and held up my hands in a pacifying manner to the growling students.

"Guys, guys… Can't we talk this out, like gentlemen?" I asked feebly. When no emotion other than rage surfaced on their faces, I grabbed Lala's hand. Time to enact my secret technique…

"Running time!" I yelled as I turned around and ran with Lala. It's the only thing I can do now!

"YOU GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!" Saruyama yelled, "HOW DARE YOU GET SUCH A PRETTY GIRL BEFORE ME!"

Hey now, calling me a bastard… That's not nice, you know?

Lala looked back briefly, bringing a finger to her mouth in thought, "Why are they so angry…?"

I spared Lala a glance as we turned a corner, " _Gee,_ I wonder…" I muttered sarcastically, "Maybe it would have to do with you claiming to be my fiancée?"

She gave me a confused look, "Aren't I?"

We rushed down a hallway, only to be met with a pair of double doors. I tried to push them open, but they didn't budge. They're locked…? Who locks doors in a school?!

I gave Lala an exasperated look as the angry mob of students continued to get closer, "Didn't I already tell you…? That was a misunderstanding!" I answered, "Hey, you got us into this situation, Lala. Can't you get us _out_? I know!" I rose a finger, "Use one of those fancy gadgets you have!"

"Hm…" Lala hummed in thought, "I could use Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun to teleport us away." She said. I groaned immediately.

"The one with the defection that makes us naked and sends us to a random location? Is that really the only option you can think of?" I asked, and at her nod, I gulped, "It might honestly be the only option right now anyway. That, or me getting beaten, which I don't want, hehe…" I laughed nervously, "Alright, do it."

"We can use it, but... We're getting married, 'kay?" She said, as if she were laying out terms and conditions.

No, no we're not getting married! And now's not the time to play games!

My eyes turned to the advancing mob of students. We're running out of time...

"Fine!" I gave in, "Fine! Just get us out of here, please!"

She flipped out that device that only resembled a phone, and dialed a quick number. The small wrist-mountable teleporter phased into existence and clipped onto her wrist. She grabbed my hand in preparation.

"Well then, I'll leave this to you, Peke. Please take care of this." Her eyes drifted up to the hat of her outfit, which was also Peke's head. I'd completely forgotten the little guy was the outfit, to be honest.

" _Yes, Lala-Sama!_ " Peke chirped dutifully.

"Okay! Warp!" Lala shouted, pressing the button on the device. A comical voice rang out from the small device.

 _ **LET'S GO SOMEWHERE! WARP, PLEASE!**_

There was a flash of bright light as I felt myself being pulled, then darkness. All around me was darkness so dense I couldn't even _see_ Lala. A light breeze could be felt though, reaffirming the fact that I was completely and utterly naked. My feet are cold, so the floor must be metal or something. I can only hope that wherever we teleported to it's not a place with people…

"Where…" I could feel my head move around. Good, I can still move. Where's Lala?

"Where are we?" I asked.

"I don't know? This is for emergency escape use only, so we cannot decide where to go-" Lala explained, even though I already knew all this. I put my hands out, hoping to find her-

 _Squish_

Oh. Oh no. What did I just grab? And why did I decide to reach out and touch her knowing she's naked too?

 _Squish_

"Sato, why are you grabbing my breasts like that?" Lala asked, startling me. I quickly withdrew my arms, backing away and hitting a wall.

"I-I'm sorryyy—" I cried out as the wall behind me gave out, sending both of us tumbling to the ground. I slammed my eyes shut as my back hit the floor, the cold floor. I felt her long hair brush up against my chest, and I heard something clatter to the ground nearby.

"Ow…" I whispered, opening my eyes. Even if Lala's completely naked, it's nothing I haven't seen…

…before…

"… Uh…" I stared at Lala, who was on top of me in one of the most suggestive positions of all time. Her hands keeping her up, and one of her legs between mine. Her breasts hung in my face, which very quickly dyed itself a brilliant shade of red. Those...

I let out a shocked yelp and covered my eyes as I backed away. Cherries! They're like cherries! I saw them! Her hair wasn't covering them this time!

"Hmm…? Don't you remember? Anything that's not a living unit isn't warped." Lala laughed, standing up.

"Y-Yeah… I remember…" I answered, before something caught my eyes, "Except this, apparently." I muttered just quietly enough for only me to hear, picking up the Seal. I guess this thing is an exception to that rule, since it somehow got warped with us, but not my clothes, "Where are we, anyway?" I asked, looking around. I noticed an open locker among a row of closed lockers, which was definitely the one Lala and I warped into. We were teleported into a locker room? _Which_ locker room?

Just as I had thought that, I heard a shocked squeak behind me, freezing me in place. That's not a good sign. I slowly turned my head to see a shocked girl with blue hair and wide, purple eyes. She held a shirt up to her chest, and wore nothing but a bra and a skirt, presumably with underwear but I don't want to check. She's kinda cute but… After seeing Lala naked, I feel a little spoiled.

Sairenji. It just had to be Sairenji of all the girls left in the locker room, didn't it? Man, this is like Rito-class luck. I very quickly used the Seal to cover my manhood.

"Y-You…" She stuttered, "What were you doing inside that locker, and w-why are you both n-naked…?"

I hesitated to answer, because what was I going to say? "Oh, sorry. We teleported into it to flee a mob of angry boys. This is my alien friend, say hello Lala." No! That's absurd, and she'd never believe that, and I know I wouldn't if I were in her situation.

So instead I just said that phrase everyone seems to say when they're in this kind of situation.

"This isn't what it looks like."

 _ **SLAP!**_

…  
 **(With Ankh)**

The red Greeed possessing Rito's body looked down at a uniform lying on the ground, with smoke rising from it. It didn't take long for him to realize it was Sato's, in fact he'd figured that out when he saw the mob of boys walking away from it. He clicked his tongue in irritation. What trouble had that boy gotten himself into this time? It seemed like every corner he turned there was something waiting for Sato, whether it was a Yummy or an alien. He crouched down and searched the pockets of the clothes, looking through each one and turning up nothing. He frowned and dropped the pair of pants, dissatisfied.

"Tch. What a nuisance…" Ankh muttered. His eyes drifted upward, out the window where he saw something floating. That "something" was the white toy-like figure of Peke, who had flown out the window to not be noticed by the puzzled mob.

Peke slowly floated through the window, picking up the lost clothing and sharing a look with Ankh.

"What are you supposed to be? You're not alive." Ankh asked, staring at it with a curious look. He sensed no desire in it, which resided within all living beings.

" _My name is Peke, I'm a dress robot created by Lala-sama. Pleased to meet you, Ankh._ " The little robot bowed in his direction.

The Greeed blinked, raising an eyebrow, "Dress robot…? No, that's not important. What's important is where those two went. What happened to them?"

At Ankh's question, the robot hesitated, " _I… I_ should _be able to track them to where they warped by pin-pointing Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun's location. Wherever they are though, they're completely naked._ " He answered.

"They warped? And they're naked? The hell?" Ankh asked, looking at Sato's clothing. It made sense, if Sato's clothing was here then he had to be clothing-less somewhere else. But if his clothes are here, and the Seal isn't, then did the Seal get warped too?

He shook his head of those thoughts, they weren't important.

"Whatever. Just lead me to wherever they are, robot." He ordered, looking up at the floating robot. How he wished he could fly like that in his body, but he lacked the ability to fly when possessing a person.

Peke tilted his head, not sure what he should do.

" _I'm not sure I should…_ " He mumbled, but stopped suddenly, " _Someone's coming!_ _I've gotta go!_ " He shouted suddenly, flying off down the hallway at too high of a speed for Ankh to keep up with.

"Hey! Hey, you damn robot! I told you to lead me to them!" Ankh shouted after it, before realizing the robot was too far away to hear him, "… Damn it, I guess I'll find them on my own. But what the hell was that buffoon Sato thinking, going off on his own like that? Doesn't he realize we're being watched?" He shook his head.

"YUUKI RITO!" A voice called from behind him. Ankh slowly turned his head in annoyance, spotting the person that called his vessel's name. She was only a little shorter than he was, with long black hair and brown eyes. She had a curvaceous figure, rivalling that of the Devilukean girl, Lala, and overall she could be called quite beautiful, if it weren't for the angry look on her face. Not that the bird Greeed cared for such things…

He was in a bad mood, anyway. Not only did he have to surrender the Seal to Sato, but he also had to go to this damn school. Today wasn't his day, even if he got a surplus of Cell Medals.

"Huh?" He asked in an irritated tone, "What the hell do you want?"

The girl glared back at him, "Do you really think this will be forgiven? Look at the damage on your uniform! I may not be in the same class as you, but I will not let this stand."

While she talked, Ankh held up his hand to his head and searched through Rito's memories. His eyebrows furrowed when he turned up nothing. Not even the boy knew who this girl was. That was troublesome. She might become a problem…

… So Ankh decided to deal with her in the only way he knew how. He took a few steps toward her with his Greeed arm forming and extending toward her neck, and-

He tripped.

"Wha-?!" He stuttered as he lost his balance on absolutely nothing. He didn't even know how, but he managed to trip on his own feet. That shouldn't have happened to him! He was always careful about where he walked! He felt himself brush up against the girl, knocking her down with him.

 _ **THUD!**_

As he hit the floor, his vision was suddenly filled with white. White… underwear?

"How…" The girl started, making Ankh look up at her. Her face was completely red, and her eyes held what Ankh identified as an unbridled rage he'd never seen before. One arm held her chest closer to herself, while the other pushed her skirt down and covered her underwear. Ankh blinked, and his eyes widened as an unfamiliar sensation took over.

 _What is this…?_ He thought, slowly backing away from the girl, _Is this…fear? No, it can't be. I'm a Greeed, what have I to fear from a child like this-_

"You… HOW SHAMELESS!"

 _ **SLAP, PUNCH, KICK!**_

…  
 **(First Person, night)**

I groaned lightly as I pushed the ice pack against my still bright-red cheek. After Sairenji slapped me, I decided it would just be best to skip school that day. Needless to say, Ankh was more than happy to hear that we were going back home. Too bad for him that we have school all week, though. Speaking of the bird Greeed…

He sat on the other side of the couch, in significantly worse condition. Several bruises covered Rito's body, and a large, red handprint painted his cheek. I have no idea how he got this messed up. He gave me a small glare when he noticed me staring at him.

"What the hell are you looking at me for?" He asked.

I just chuckled slightly, taking off my icepack, "So what the heck happened to _you_? I don't think you told me." I said. Ankh looked away in what seemed to be a mixture of vexation and shame, as well as rage.

"I don't need to explain myself to you." He answered simply. I gulped at the glare he gave me.

"Alright then. But man…" I trailed off, watching Lala fiddle with the PlayStation that was hooked up to the TV. She was another reason I decided to skip school, since I wanted to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't get herself into any trouble. She'd already gotten me into enough problems by just being there.

I rubbed my cheek slightly with a grin, "Sairenji really knows how to slap. She's pretty strong, I thought my neck might break just from the sheer force behind her hand. My jaw still hurts... Heh, maybe she should be the one fighting the Greeed instead of me…" I joked, imagining Sairenji wearing the Os armor and fighting the Mantis Yummy. They wouldn't stand a chance...

Ankh shook his head, "Please. Even if I wanted her to be Os instead of you, it's completely impossible. _You_ undid the Seal on that thing, and it's bound to you because of that. No one else can use it until you die."

I undid that? How did that happen? And why me?

I sighed and redirected my vision to the TV, watching Lala's character run around the screen. Life's pretty weird sometimes… One moment, it could be calm and serene like now, but then the next thing you know things are going south really fast with a Yummy attack. Ever since Ankh appeared, things haven't been the same. I kind of wonder what it would be like if he hadn't shown up… No Cell or Core medals… No Yummies to worry about…

Well, no use dwelling on that. What's happened has happened, and there's no changing it now.

Lala turned to me and giggled, "Aww~ cheer up, Sato! You Earthlings have really fun games! Come play with me."

I returned her offer with a small smile and shook my head. Such a playful girl… Why are they forcing someone this childish into marriage?

"Sorry, but no thanks." I answered, "I'm not actually allowed to play video games in the house. Mikan's rules."

I said that with a chuckle.

"Eh…? Why aren't you allowed to play games?" Lala asked, tilting her head.

"I'm too good at them, apparently." I glanced up at the 'Game Over' screen Lala had stopped on and decided I probably could have helped her with that, "I didn't really get out much when I was younger, so video games were sort of my escape from a bedridden life. As a result, I got really good at them" I explained.

That was kind of a half-assed explanation, though... The truth is that I'm really frustrating to play against, according to both Mikan and Rito. They've both said that I have this weird combination of being a pro and having fun at the same time, which means I'm constantly laughing as I beat them.

Lala pouted slightly, as if she were daring me to break the house rules. Come to think of it, there's something I still need to talk with her about. But I can't bring it up here, where would a good place be…?

Ah! I know one.

"Hey, Lala?" I asked, getting her attention before she went back to playing the video game, "I actually have something I need to talk to you about. Let's go for a walk."

Lala nodded with that same smile she seemed to wear, "Okay, sure!"

I stood up and looked at Ankh, "Yo, if something comes up come find me, got it?"

Ankh regarded me with a dismissive look, wanting to go back to the phone, "Whatever, I don't care."

I rolled my eyes at that. I swear, for an eight-hundred year old homunculus, Ankh can act like a angst-y teenager sometimes. Maybe Rito's affecting him somehow? Then again, I'd be pretty grumpy too if I were sealed for eight-hundred years... That's really a long time.

I shook that thought from my head and turned back to Lala.

"Alright, let's go."

...

I sighed contently as I sat down on the river bank's grassy hillside. It's been a while since I last sat here. I used to come out here at night all the time when I was younger to look at the stars. That was before the city started getting bigger and the stars could actually be seen in the sky. They're impossible to see through all the light pollution these days, unfortunately. It's a real shame, too. The sky was so beautiful back then...

"Hey Sato," I looked up when Lala called my name. She'd been disturbingly quiet the entire walk here. It was kind of scaring me. Nonetheless, I regarded her with a smile.

"What's up, Lala?"

"Why did you get all serious all of the sudden and tell me you wanted to talk to me? Are you okay?" She asked. Her face betrayed her concern. I guess I am easy-going most of the time, so me being serious for once must have thrown her for a loop.

I sighed, deciding to get straight to the point, "Are you serious about marrying me?"

"Eh?" She blinked at my question.

"You heard me," I sounded off numbly, "are you serious about marrying me? I'm asking because it may not be the best idea for your safety. In fact, it might just be best if you returned home."

"Huh? But didn't you say it was okay for me to live there?" Lala asked, tilting her head.

"I _might've_." I answered with a shrug, "I'm just saying it might not be the best idea. My life's been getting dangerous recently, but I'm not blaming you. The fault lies with Ankh and the Greeed, with their Yummies. I've gotta fight them, after all."

As I said that, I pulled out the Seal - which for convenience's sake I've decided to start calling the "Os Driver" - and looked over it. I'd never gotten a really good look at the thing, but looking at it right now… I don't know why, but it's quite aesthetically pleasing for something made eight hundred years ago.

"Well, married couples live together. That's common on this planet too, isn't it?" Lala asked. I sighed and glanced up at her from the Driver.

"That's not the point I was trying to make." I muttered in exasperation, "And why do you still think we're getting married? I told you that was a misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding?" Lala repeated.

"Yup. All of it. Just. One. Big. Misunderstanding." I enunciated slowly. It actually hurt to say that, so I looked away from her. I'm saying this for her safety, though. So it's necessary.

"So you don't like me?" She asked. I was certain that if I turned to look at her I'd see tears forming in her eyes, so I forced myself to keep looking at the river.

I shook my head, "It's not like that. It's really hard for me to dislike someone, even if they're someone like Ankh, so I definitely don't dislike you. I just don't exactly love you." I answered. Not yet, at least. I've been thinking about it, though. She's really cute, and-

"That's okay! I'm fine with that!" Lala responded, making my eyes widen as I stared at her in disbelief. Y-You've gotta be kidding me!

"Eh?! Wait, you're fine with that?!" I asked, "How?!"

" _Lala-sama…_ " Peke suddenly spoke up, " _I think I know what you're trying to do, Lala-sama…_ "

"Peke...! Shush!" She whispered up at her hat.

While Lala tried to quiet her costume robot, I was left thinking. What could she be trying to do? She's being forced into a marriage, so… She… She _could_ be trying to use me as a means of escape from an arranged marriage.

My eyes widened as Lala turned around with a smile, "A-Anyway, let's be good to each other, Sato!"

"LALA-SAMA!"

Just as I was about to reply to her, a voice rang out from behind me. I just can't catch a break, can I…?

A man wearing a full set of armor with grey hair and blue eyes entered my vision as I turned around. His armor looked rather demonic, with spikes and large red orbs on his pauldrons. A long black cape waved behind him. The man was clearly somewhat exhausted, as he was catching his breath. But there was something oddly comical about his appearance. A dog was attached to his leg, biting into his armor.

He looks kinda scary~...

"Lala-sama… Fufufu…" The man chuckled for a moment, "I went through so much trouble to get here… I was arrested, this dog chased me down, and I got lost numerous times…. I guess that's why I really don't like underdeveloped worlds like this." He shook his head, "But this is it!" He held his hands out in front of him dramatically, "Princess Lala-sama, come back to planet Deviluke with me!"

There was a brief moment of silence as I turned to look at Lala with wide eyes.

"EH?! You're a _Princess?!_ " I asked in shock, "Why didn't you tell me?!"

Seriously, that's a pretty big piece of information to be missing! And wait, then who the hell is this guy?! A retainer?!

Ignoring my outcry, Lala stuck her tongue out at the man childishly, "Nyeee! I won't go back! I have a reason not to!" She shouted back. Wait, wait, hold up… she isn't thinking of using _me_ as an excuse, is she?!

"… And what is your reason?" The man questioned.

Lala hesitated slightly, "I… I fell in love with this Sato guy! We're getting married and staying here on Earth!"

No… There's not a doubt about it. She's _deefinitely_ using me as an excuse to escape her suitors back home, isn't she? And if she's the princess of an entire planet, then… There's a lot on the line.

And wait, if we were married wouldn't that make me a… King?

I suddenly feel very nervous. Can we go back to the part where she's a frickin' _princess_?! This is too ridiculous!

…

Is this guy seriously buying it?

"… I see. So that's how it is." The man commented, bringing a hand to his chin in thought. I hate to say this, but this guy's a bit of an idiot. Oh Christ, I'm starting to sound like Ankh. That's not a good sign.

The man nodded as he continued, "Yes, yes… now I understand. I was wondering when I heard about it in my men's reports, about how a human tried to rescue Lala-sama…"

No, I don't think you understand. But I'm not going to say anything, since _I_ don't understand space-politics. Hell, I don't even understand _Earth_ -politics.

"That's right, Zastin! Now that you know, go back and tell Daddy that I'll never go back, nor will I meet the future-husband candidates!" Lala declared, looking up to the man standing on the top of the hill. So his name's Zastin, huh…?

My body stiffened. When she said that, the man's eyes sharpened dangerously. I felt a mass of… what is this? Killing intent?!

It undoubtedly came from Zastin, who stood at the top of the river bank looking down at us.

"No. I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. I admire your will to looking for a loop-hole, however." He shook his head, before continuing as if he were recounting a vow, "I, Zastin, have received orders from the King of Deviluke to take you back to the planet. I won't be able to face the King if I return without you, especially after approving the marriage of a suspicious Earthling and Lala-sama."

I'm suspicious?

My hand drifted to the Os Driver in my pocket. This is starting to sound like a boss battle…

"Then what can we do?" Lala asked, narrowing her eyes.

Zastin's hand drifted to his side, "Please stay back and avert your eyes, Lala-sama."

There was a sudden flash of light. Chills ran up my spine as I kicked the ground and jumped to my right, narrowly avoiding something.

 _ **BUZZ**_

"ORRRAAAA!" Zastin yelled as he struck the place I'd been standing. In his hand was something that made me gulp nervously at how dangerous it was. A laser sword. It had a long, emerald-colored blade that shuddered every few seconds. The ground he struck was cleaved in half, I'm not even sure that the Os armor could take a hit like that.

Worst of all, he's fast... I barely had enough time to react properly.

Oh my God… _THIS IS BAD! THIS IS SO BAD! I'M SO GONNA DIE!_

"... You dodged." Zastin said simply.

It took a moment for me to respond through my shock, "I-Isn't that natural?! Wouldn't I die if I didn't dodge?!"

"..." The man took in a breath and released it, "Lala-sama... Allow me to see if this boy is a suitable husband candidate."

"Y-You've gotta be kidding me..." I muttered.

Swallowing my dread, I pulled the Os Driver from my pocket and held it to my waist. The belt strap materialized, securing the buckle to me. The weight of the sword on my belt was a comforting one, but I'm not sure I can do anything with it. Zastin's eyes shot to the belt, then looked at the sword strangely.

"Y-You…!" For some reason, Zastin regarded me with recognition, "You're that warrior I saw earlier today, the one who fought that massive creature!"

Huh? He saw me fight the Yummy? He was there?!

"This makes fighting you even more prudent, then…" The man said as he readied his sword, "Now, Warrior Sato… I want you to show me your true skills in a battle! Are you ready?"

No! No I'm not ready to fight!

My hands automatically went to put three medals into the Os Driver, only to realize my hands were empty. My eyes widened in realization. This wasn't thought out well at all. I have the Driver, but not the medals.

"Crap…" I muttered as I turned and ran. I'm not stupid enough to try and fight him without the Os armor, that would be insane even with my sword. As I ran, I tried to formulate a plan in my head. I've gotta get Ankh out here somehow, but how…?

Wait, doesn't he have Rito's phone?

I blinked, hiding behind a vending machine and flipped out my phone. I ignored Zastin's yells as I selected Rito's number and waited for Ankh to pick up. I seriously hope he's figured out the basic function of a cell phone…!

 _ **CLICK!**_

When I heard the phone click, indicating that Ankh had picked up, I spoke into the phone immediately, "Ankh! You have got to get out here immediately! I need to use the medals!"

" _Sato?! What's going on? It can't be a Yummy, I would have sensed it._ " Ankh muttered from the other side of the line.

I lowered my voice to a whisper, "I think it's worse than a Yummy. As it turns out, Lala is a princess from space and her retainer is trying to kill me-"

"I FOUND YOU!"

I gave out a startled yelp as the vending machine I was crouching behind was cut in half, "Oh shit!" I yelled as I ran, "Ankh, get out here and help me!"

"QUIT RUNNING, EARTHLING! I WILL NEVER APPROVE OF YOU IF ALL YOU DO IS RUN!" Zastin yelled at me as I continued to run through an intersection. _Oh_ , I'm sorry, I'll let you impale me on your frickin' _laser_ sword.

I'm not envious, I swear.

 _ **VRRRRM!**_

Just as Zastin passed by that same intersection, a car drove by. My eyes widened as I saw it heading toward him, "Hey, watch out!" I warned. In one swift movement, Zastin _jumped_.

"I must commend you," Zastin started with a smile as he landed, "I didn't expect that trap because you were running around wildly. Good job, but now…" He paused, unsheathing the laser sword again, "THE REAL BATTLE BEGINS!"

I looked down to where he was standing, noticing he was standing on train tracks.

My eyes widened when I realized this, "H-Hey! It's dangerous where you're standing—!"

"Dangerous?" Zastin cut me off mid-sentence, "Hah! As if I'd fall for that simple trick, much less the same one twice—"

 _ **VRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNN!**_

My jaw dropped as the train came. He got hit by the train. That's…. precisely what I was warning him about. I watched as the alien man flew through the air, somehow spiraling until made it over a fence and hit a wall. I winced. That's gotta hurt. And somehow that dog is still biting him.

I cautiously approached the downed alien, "Zastin…?" I slowly called his name, "You okay?"

Is he… Is he dead?

I lightly prodded his head with my foot, trying to get a response. The effect was instantaneous, as Zastin bolted upright, screaming. His face was covered in blood coming from the top of his head.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

I let out a scream in surprise, "AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Zastin held up his sword with a triumphant smirk, "Did you really think you'd be able to beat me with just that, Earthling? You have yet to even use your sword and fight me properly!" Saying that, he swung his sword. I froze in fear. He… He's too close for me to dodge! There's no way I can get out of this one! I'm gonna die!

 _ **BRNNNNNNNNNNNN—**_

The sword stopped. It suddenly stopped, mere centimeters from my face. I could feel the heat it gave off warming my face, but it was dangerously close.

"I'm saved…" I breathed, before looking down to see what had stopped the blade. I saw a familiar red hand connected to an even more familiar body, "Ankh!" I exclaimed, grinning, "It's about time you showed up!"

Ankh had showed up at literally the last second and stopped the blade by grabbing Zastin's wrist. I'm so freaking glad I called him.

I felt a hand push me back as the bird Greeed gave me a scowl, "I swear, I can't leave your sorry ass alone for more than a second without you getting into some kind of trouble." He growled, shaking his head. He pushed Zastin's arm back, forcing the Devilukean to take a few steps back.

Zastin glared at him for interrupting our "fight".

"Who are you?!" Zastin demanded.

"Who I am doesn't matter to you." Ankh said, "But what matters is that you were trying to kill Sato just then. I can't have that, it'd be far too inconvenient for me and my goals." With that, he turned to me, "Sato! Transform and defend yourself!"

He tossed the Tatoba medals to me, and I caught them out of the air. I looked at them and spared Ankh a smile, "Thanks for saving me, Ankh!"

"Tch… Just transform already, you idiot!" He yelled.

"Sato!" I turned to see Lala running toward me, having just caught up with us.

I nodded in her direction, "You're just in time, Lala. Now look…" I announced loudly, putting the medals into the Driver and grabbing the Scanner, "at my transformation!"

"Henshin!"

 _ **Taka, Tora, Batta! Ta-To-Ba! Tatoba, Ta-To-Ba!**_

The holograms of colored circles rotated around me until the red, yellow, and green ones aligned vertically in front of me. They merged together to form a symbol of a hawk, a tiger, and a grasshopper, which moved to cover my chest and formed the armor.

Bouncing on my feet a little, I held out one armored hand toward Zastin, waggling my fingers in the universal "Come at me" gesture.

"I am Os. Now, let's go."

I ran at the knight, pulling the sword from its place on my belt. Once I was close enough, I swung it down on him. He blocked it with his laser sword, proving that my sword was somehow made of a strong enough material that it couldn't be cut by a light-saber. Our swords clashed, I struggled against him as he slowly pushed me back.

This isn't working.

I pushed power into my leg armor, activating the _B_ _atta_ legs' function and pushed Zastin's sword out of my way. I jumped forward, kicking him in his chest.

"Gh!" Zastin grunted, before grabbing my leg with a smirk. My eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh shi—" I muttered as he threw me, _hard_. I gasped as I rolled against the ground, eventually coming to a stop and writhing in pain. I eventually willed myself to stand up, pushing myself into position with the sword. I gripped it tightly as I re-positioned myself in time to block a swipe from Zastin, who had quickly advanced on me. I powered the _B_ _atta_ legs and jumped back, giving me more time to recuperate.

Zastin threw me a smirk as he approached, "I must say, that armor gave me quite the surprise. It must be a great utility to have in a battle, not that it will help you against _me_. It will help our army if I recover it, however."

I noticed Ankh's eyes harden at the thought of Zastin taking the Os Driver. That's not happening.

I narrowed my eyes, "What makes you think I can't beat you?" I asked, swallowing my spit. To be honest, I was being rather facetious there. I'm well aware I can't beat him, especially since I don't have any Cell Medals to use a Scanning Charge with my sword. I should've grabbed some earlier.

He spared me a small chuckle, "Hehe… Because this is where it ends for you, Earthling warrior." He answered, holding his sword horizontally with both of his hands as he crouched down.

Lala's eyes widened, as did Ankh's, "SATO, WATCH OUT!" Lala screamed. Eh? What's he doing that's got her all scared?

 _ **VSH!**_

"… Disappear." Zastin ordered, as he vanished in a burst of speed. My eyes widened as I looked around, trying to find him.

"Where—"

 _ **SHINK!**_

"GUAH!" I gasped as a cut appeared on my side, making the _Tora_ part of my armor flicker rapidly and short-circuit from the damage and rendering the _Tora_ claws unusable. He's too fast! Way too fast for me to see! Why didn't he do this from the start if he wanted me dead so badly?!

 _ **SHINK! SHINK! SHINK! SHIN-SHIN-SHIN-SHINK!**_

"GYAH!"

"SATO!" I heard Lala cry as I fell to one knee, supporting myself with my sword.

In short succession, more and more cuts appeared on my body, some more shallow than others as blood poured from the wounds. Where is he?! I can't fight him if I can't see him!

 _ **Tap-tap-tap-tap... VSH!**_

I blinked when I saw a flicker beside me. For a split-second, I saw him despite his immense speed.

 _Okay_ , I told myself, _focus._

I narrowed my eyes as I scanned the area for Zastin. If the _Taka_ head does what I think it does, then I should be able to see him. Hawk-eyes, right? So they should increase my accuracy or my vision, then.

...

"There!" I shouted as I saw him flying toward me at a high speed. Holy crap, he's fast.

"This is it, Earthling!" He called, "This is the moment you die!"

At the last second, I pushed all of my power into the _Batta_ legs. I kicked the ground, jumping away.

 _ **SHIN-KA!**_

"GAH!" I cried as I felt the laser sword cut into my side. It was more than a graze; Zastin was aiming to cut me in half, and if I didn't jump out of the way he would've succeeded. I rolled to the ground with a wound that was deeper than the others. I panted as I sat up on my knees. I dropped my sword and held my side, too weak to carry the weapon anymore. The medals in the Os Driver ejected as it reverted to its dormant position, causing my transformation to fail and leaving me defenseless. Blood stained my clothes. Oh man, even if I survive this Mikan's just going to kill me instead…

"I'm impressed, Earthling…" Zastin said from behind me. I slowly turned my head to look at him, "You managed to evade my attack. That much is commendable, however… If you cannot defend Lala-sama, I cannot approve of you as a husband candidate. I'm sorry you were caught up in this, but you must die."

"T-TAKEHIKO!" I heard Lala scream as she ran toward me. Why is she calling me by that name?

"Sato!" I heard Ankh yell from where he stood, "Get back up, Sato! Don't you dare die on me, damn it!"

Ankh... He's still glaring, but he looks kind of concerned. How bad-tempered can one guy get?

"Hehe… Guah!"

I couldn't help but laugh, before coughing up some blood. Damn...

That's not good.

 _ **Grab**_

Huh? Lala suddenly grabbed me, and is she… crying?

"Takehiko…" Lala whispered, holding me, "Don't. Don't die, Takehiko. Please… Don't die because of me."

I shook my head, chuckling.

"Hey now, Lala…" I muttered, patting her head, "I swear I told you to call me… Sato. Agh…" I grunted in pain, " _Takehiko…_ That means 'Military Prince', or something like that. I think it's way too presumptuous to call myself a prince, so I really don't like that name all that much..." I smiled at Lala's confused face, but frowned when I saw Zastin approaching, laser sword in hand.

"Step back, Lala-sama…" Zastin ordered.

"No, no no no!" Lala cried, shielding me from him, "I won't let you kill him."

"Lala-sama… It's for the best. Someone like him could never protect you, look at him now—"

"IT WASN'T FAIR!" Lala shouted, cutting Zastin off. He flinched, caught off guard by the outburst.

"Huh?" Zastin snorted questioningly, lowering his sword, "What do you mean, princess Lala-sama?"

"It wasn't fair…" Lala repeated, more calmly this time, "Takehiko could never beat you, and you know it! You're said to be the number one swordsman on Planet Deviluke!"

Number one, huh...? I really didn't stand a chance, then...

Zastin's eyes widened, "But Lala-sama—" He started, but cut himself off suddenly. He started again in a refined manner, "But Lala-sama, marrying you, the heir of the Deviluke Royal Family, means that he'll reign over the countless planets that are under your father's care. A boy like him couldn't do that!" He said, "That's why your father ordered for the gathering of possible husband candidates from all over the galaxy to meet you, Lala-sama."

Lala's face hardened. It was a strange thing to see her face do, and it didn't fit her at all. Her face is more suited to happy expressions…

"And I told you that's exactly what I didn't like!" Lala shouted, "I'm sure that Daddy cares more about the heir than he cares about me!"

"No, that's not true!" Zastin shouted back. From there, it turned into a shouting contest between those two. But I think I can understand Lala's situation better. She's being forced into marriage by her father, a king of the entire universe basically. However, she wants the freedom to choose who she wants to marry, meaning she wants love, _not_ options. That's why she ran away, to avoid the troubles her father has forced on her. I can understand that much, at least.

Ankh stared in annoyance as the two argued, before looking to me in what was either concern or disappointment. He huffed slightly and leaned on a nearby wall, crossing his arms as he payed attention to the argument, waiting for it to end and looking back at me every few seconds to make sure I was okay. I shook my head at his inactivity, but it wasn't like he could really stop Zastin from killing me anyway. Ankh's not my concern, though... It's those two.

I turned my attention back to the two arguing Devilukeans, before sighing.

"HEY!" I yelled, grabbing their attention, "WILL YOU TWO QUIT IT ALREADY?!"

Lala and Zastin stopped arguing and looked at me in shock. Ankh looked up at me, raising an eyebrow at my cry.

I lowered my voice slightly, but still made sure they could hear me. My voice was hoarse from screaming in pain, "Heir to a planet and empire, or meeting possible candidates… Such high stakes, but seriously, who gives a _crap_?" I asked, chuckling slightly, "Personally, I think everyone's entitled to living a normal life. And… I don't know if this is my place to say, but…" I trailed off slightly, looking into Lala's eyes, "I really don't think you should have to marry someone you don't love or even like. That's… just not right."

I finished my spout lamely, but I think I got my opinion across. Seriously, playing mediator to an intergalactic marriage problem and fighting eight-hundred-year-old homunculi, what the heck's with my life recently…?

Both of the aliens stared at me with widened eyes, "This Earthling…" Zastin whispered. Huh? Did that sound insensitive?

"Takehiko…" Lala started, making my eyebrow twitch when she called me by my first name. Why did she start calling me like that all of the sudden? I already told her I didn't like it.

"You told me you didn't actually love me and you said several times that it was a misunderstanding, but… But, you understand my feelings perfectly! I'm really happy!" She said with a smile. She turned to Zastin, "It's like he said, I just want to live life the way I want to. There are a lot of things I want to do on my own, and I want to choose my husband myself… That's pretty much what I was thinking." She turned to me with a sheepish look, "I'm sorry, Takehiko. I used you as an excuse so I wouldn't have to go back. But you got hurt because of me…"

I held my hands up with a weak smile, "It's fine, Lala. I… I don't regret any of it."

Even if I'm bleeding out right now, I wouldn't want any of this to happen any differently. What's happened has happened. It's about time I tightened up.

And besides, I kinda had a lot of fun running around with Lala, even if I _did_ get slapped across a locker room.

Lala smiled back at me, "You're so kind. That's what I like about you…" She trailed off slightly, "But now… Now I think I know."

Eh? Know what? What did she realize?

She looked at me, "I think I… I think I can really marry you, Takehiko." She paused, "I mean, I want to marry you, Takehiko!"

"Wha—" I stuttered with my face heating up, "Are you serious? And stop calling me by my first name!" I added, "I'm not a kind person, Lala. I'm actually kind of dangerous." I looked to Zastin, "You were disapproving of it earlier, what do you think?"

Zastin sighed, "I've lost, Earthling." He said to my surprise, "You win. It is my duty to follow King Deviluke's orders and bring Lala-sama back, but… Because of that, I was oblivious to Lala-sama's true feelings… No. No, I knew, I just refused to think about them. But…" He started to tear up. Oh man, is he seriously going to start crying?

"But… Now that you have pointed it out, I admit my loss. However, I don't know if those countless husband candidates from various places in the universe will agree with this decision. I will make sure to report what happened here to the King myself. I will report… That we can entrust Lala-sama to you! You, who can truly understand Lala-sama's feelings!" Zastin announced, turning with his cape flapping in the wind as he walked away.

I blinked in his direction as Lala rushed over to me, embracing me in a hug.

What has my life come to…?

...  
 **(Meanwhile...)**

The Principal of Sainan High School was a jolly man. Indeed, the bulbous man could be called quite happy-go-lucky, but he had one major fault...

His sexual desire. He was a pervert of the highest degree and considered the most perverse man in all of Sainan, ripping all of his clothes off at the sight of beautiful girls and running toward them gleefully. This resulted in a city-wide reputation of being a perverted Principal, not caring about the grades of pretty girls in the slightest and letting them in the school so long as they were "cute." In his eyes, that was all that he could ask for. To be surrounded by beautiful girls... His greatest wish. However, that proved to be impossible for him. So he chose the next best thing...

"Ooooh~ white with blue stripes~!" He examined a pair of stolen panties, blood dripping from his nose. Indeed, he'd been reduced to petty underwear thievery. It wasn't that he was proud of it, but that he wanted to do it. And he was good at it, having never been caught. Or so he thought..

Tonight, his reputation would change. He didn't notice the silver medals lining up behind him, some of which were differing shades of yellow. They came together, and with a sharp glow that caught his attention transformed. The principal backed away out of sheer panic, stuttering in fear.

" _Ahhhh..._ "

The cat Greeed, Kazari, yawned as he rolled his shoulders. Materializing like that was always too boring for him, he honestly preferred running everywhere. Still, it was necessary for what he was doing.

He looked over at the shivering principal. He tilted his head, " _My,_ w _hat a peculiar desire... But still, it's really quite amusing._ " The cat humanoid laughed quietly to himself, despite not being able to feel true emotion, " _Alrighty then, Mr. Principal._ " Kazari said, holding up a silver medal. A coin slot appeared on the Principal's forehead.

" _Allow me to grant that wish._ "

...

 **A/N: And that's it for this chapter!**

 **I really didn't mean for it to be this long, but I'm not complaining. Anyway, this chapter had some things happen. Ankh was finally effected by Rito's luck, and Sato fought against the Number One Devilukean swordsman, Zastin. That's an unwinnable boss fight, and there was no way in _hell_ I was going to let Sato win that. The only thing Zastin had going against him was his bad luck, but that's not enough to stop him in such a short fight.**

 **And there was a sneak peek at what the Greeed (Or just Kazari) are doing behind the scenes at the end here. Show of hands, how many people saw a Yummy from the Principal coming? That was actually in the plans from the beginning, it was just a matter of _how_ I should write it.**

 **By the way, _Regret Nothing~Tighten Up!_ is the theme song to the TaToBa combo. I decided that this would be a good name for the chapter, and I have a question for the people that are familiar with Kamen Rider OOO (because I imagine I might have a few TLR readers in here, given the crossover). **

**What's your favorite combo song?**

 **Personally, I really like all of them. But my favorite has to be _POWER to TEARER_ because of the empowering feeling the song gives. Also Akira Kushida's vocals combined with Shu Watanabe's sound awesome. That having been said, _Sun Goes Up_ has grown on me quite a bit.**

 **I think that's about it I have to say for now. Tell me how I did this chapter in the reviews! Since I'm doing this as practice, criticism is more than welcome. Be as hard on me as you want.**

 **See you all next chapter!**

 **Until then, this is Zappy Caboose signing off.**

(This chapter passed under the eyes of my wonderful unofficial beta-reader, XDNOVA13. That being said, if you happen to notice anything out of place or God forbid a mistake, don't hesitate to PM me. I'm pretty reliable when it comes to replying, I think!)


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